Despite it all, it's still you it always was
by luli27
Summary: About a year after Seven Year Witch, Phoebe is just coming to terms with everything that happened with Cole and has just began to mourn him. After a lot of soul searching and encouragement from her sisters, Phoebe decides she needs to see him once more C
1. Default Chapter

Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be.

**Author's Note: **This is my first story so please be kind. After I saw the Seven Year Witch, I just couldn't get out of my head that they had let the door open for Cole to come back. And somehow that led to a whole story about how I'd like it to happen. Being something of a realist, I realize that Julian McMahon has another, better joband that it'd be unrealistic to think he will come back - so I thought the best way to do it would be if they did just as the show is going to end. Now I just decided that that will be next year becuase I don't know either way. I just hope that when the show does end TPTB do a better job of giving us loyal fans what we want that some other TPTB that shall remain nameless but who intead of giving the fans the valentine ending they promise they'll be giving us a punch to the stomach. OK, rant over. I hope you guys like it.

Chapter 1

Phoebe entered the attic and went straight to the Book of Shadows. She sat down and started to flip through it. She was supposed to check to make sure if it had an entry for the latest demon she and her sisters have just disposed of. But after half-heartily flipping through a couple of pages, she sighed and just looked up, staring out the window but not seeing the beautiful May day.

Piper walked into the attic about to ask her sister how the search was coming and why it was taking so long when she saw her staring into nothing with the most nostalgic look she had ever seen on Phoebe's face. So instead of grilling her sister about how long she's taking, she went and sat her next to her on the old sofa and asked her, "what's the matter, sweetie?" as she gently rubbed Phoebe's back.

Phoebe was startled and with a guilty look on her face turned to her oldest sister and said, "nothing, what makes you think there's anything wrong? I'm just looking for the stupid demon that attacked us a while ago."

"Come on Phoebe, this is your older sister you talking to, you know the one that's known you since you were born? I know when there's something bothering and there's something bothering now. In fact, there's been something bothering for a while now, Leo and Paige have also noticed it. Even Wyatt's notice how distracted you've been lately. So, give. Tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry anybody. What has Wyatt tell you? Does he think I'm ignoring him. The last thing I want is for him to feel that I don't love him. Honestly Piper, if I've somehow. . ."

Piper stopped her before Phoebe could really get started in a babbling episode. "Phoebe, Phebs, calm down. Wyatt hasn't said anything else that asked me and Leo if there's anything bothering you. He knows you love him and he loves you too, that's why he was concerned. We all love you, _that's_ why we are all concerned about you honey. And please" Piper held her hand up and stops Phoebe before she can start again. "don't tell me you didn't mean to worry us. I'm sure that's true. But, honey we're family and worrying about each other is what we do. Whether we mean the other person to or not, is part of our job and our privilege. You do the same for Paige and me and Leo, don't you?"

"Yes, you're right. But I really didn't mean . . ." Phoebe started to apologize again. But again Piper stopped her. "not another word about not meaning to worry us or about apologizing. Just tell me what's going on in that head of yours, will you? That will ease my worry over you much more than your apologizing." Piper said firmly.

Phoebe opened her mouth to once again deny there's anything wrong with her. But one look at Piper's face and she closed her mouth realizing that this time Piper was not going to stop until she gets the truth out of her. In a way she's relieved, she needs to talk about this with someone. And really, she's surprised that her sisters have left her alone this long. Specially Piper who always wants to know if there's anything wrong so that she can fix it. So, giving in to the inevitable, Phoebe sighs and begins to tell her sister what's been going on with her. "I'm not really sure where to begin,"

"Start at the beginning. That's usually the best place to start." Piper answered Phoebe a bit sarcastically, but her smile took any sting out of it.

"The beginning, you're right that's usually the best place. But I'm not sure where the beginning is." With that Phoebe trails off for a few minutes, once again staring out the window but really seeing who knows what as she looses herself in her thoughts. Piper thought about interrupting with another smart comment but realize that it was not the moment, and that Phoebe needed to take her time in broaching what was obviously a very difficult subject. So, though it went against much of her instincts, she sat next to her sister resolved to wait as long as necessary. She just hoped as long as necessary would mean something shorter than a couple of hours because she was not sure she could hold her silence that long, nor her usually inclination to demand answers and action. After thinking this, she realized that perhaps becoming the oldest after Prue died and playing that role for this many years have changed her nature, and not necessarily for the better.

Just as she was getting into an argument with herself about how many of Prue's characteristics she had adopted, Phoebe started speaking. "You could say that the beginning was about a year after we got our powers, or you could say that it was right after we kill the old source. Or you could say that it was a year ago. Those beginnings would all be correct. But we don't need to go over dead ground again; so let's just begin last year."

As soon as Phoebe mentioned the year after they got their power, Piper had inkling where this was going. She was sure of it when Phoebe talked about the vanquished of the old source. Cole. This was about Cole. Piper sighs, relieved, and thought to herself 'finally, took her long enough. Maybe now we can really deal with this.' Piper was still not completely used to thinking of Cole with anything but anger, fear, rage or any other type of negative feeling, relieved was still a new emotion when associated with Cole, but Piper supposed she was getting used to it. She stopped thinking about herself and focused on Phoebe, she was going to need all her focus to help her sister through this.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** I don't have a beta but I have proof read it, so I hope that its OK grammatically. As someone who gets a bit annoyed when a lot of mistakes happen on a story, I sincerely apologize for any mistakes you may find. This is not an excuse but English is my second language and as fluent as I am in it, sometimes little things get by me that Idon't recognize as mistake, so if anyone wants to point them out I'll be very grateful. Also, and I just realized this as I was re-reading this chapter, there are some similarities or at least echoes of magicmyth's Guardians series. I guess that only makes sense becuase I absolutely love them; they are my favorite Cole and Phoebe stories. I specially like that all three sisters have an increasing role as the series goes on. If you haven't read them, I suggest you do so. And I sincerely hope magicmyth will continue with it and that she (I'm assuming here, and I hope I'm right) doesn't mind if some bit of her stories find her way into mine - though that would probably only be in regards to Phoebe's or some other characters emotions. Anyway, back to the story

Chapter 2

Phoebe debated with herself for a minute about where and how she wanted to begin. There were so many things to say, so many moments that marked the beginning of something or other. But after a while she decided to simply start with how she felt at seeing her oldest living sister dying, again, and go on from there. "When we came down the stairs and I saw you lying there, dying. All I could think was no, not again. I won't lose another sister. You know I love Paige and losing her would be a tremendous blow, but you are my older sister. And I don't know if I could cope if I lost you. I know we've had close calls before so for a few moments there all I could think was "what if this time is for real and we can't save her" and then I just decided that I would not lose you. And that was what was going through my mind as we decided what we should do and how we could help." After saying this, Phoebe stopped for a minute as if to collect her thoughts, but her eyeswent to the window again and for some minutes she got lost inside her head again.

After waiting for a while, Piper decided her sister was taking too long and prompted her to start talking again, "Yes, and I thank you very much for all you and Paige did to save me and bring Leo back to me. But that can't be what is bothering you now, can it?"

Again Phoebe was startled out of her thoughts and with a small, sheepish smile she started talking again. "No, of course that's not it. I'm nothing if not exceedingly grateful and happy that you and Leo finally have a chance at happiness. But the thing is that while all I could think about was how to save you when we were standing around your body, as we were leaving the Manor I felt something that I have not felt for quite a while. It was so powerful and familiar that I couldn't get it out of my head, especially because I could not quite remember what it was that I had felt. So, all the time I and Paige were running around trying to find Leo and bring him back, part of me was consumed with reliving that brief moment, trying to decide why it was that it felt so familiar, so comforting – trying to decide what it was. I was pretty sure it was not demonic, after all there was only one demonic presence in which I ever felt comforted, loved or that felt familiar. But it was only when I remember that, that it dawned on me what it was that I felt." Phoebe drifted again off after the long explanation. Piper again waited her out until her frustration got the better of her.

"So, did you figure it out?"

This time Phoebe was not as startled, and Piper realized that this was going to be a long conversation. It seemed like Phoebe was with her only half of the time, the only half she was God knew where.

"Yes, I finally figured it out. But it was about a month later and only after much thinking, sleepless night and remembering. I don't know why I didn't figure it out much sooner, really. I guess I was in too much denial with myself to see what was in front on me. And I think I would have gone on like that if I had not been hit over the head with it. About a month after Leo came back, I decided I had had a bit too much introspection and some action was needed. Demonic attacks were for some reason down and I was tired of training – for some reason it was not helping. So, I decided to clean out my closet. As I was deciding what to throw and what to keep I came across this box that I could not remember. I opened it and saw an old sweater." Phoebe stopped again for a minute and shook her head, laughing ruefully at herself. "I can't believe I was in such denial that it actually took me a couple of minutes to remember whose sweater it was. But all of the sudden I remembered. That was the box where I've put all of Cole's stuff after we vanquished him the first time. With everything that we went through the second time, I guess I put it out of my head and forgot about it. Just as I tried to forget all about him."

This time when Phoebe stopped to compose herself and dried the tears that got started to fall, Piper did not try to rush her. She just put her arm around her sister and waited for Phoebe to go on. After a few minutes Phoebe calmed down enough and went on.

"After I remembered whose sweater it was, I put it aside and looked back into the box to see what else was there. I found pictures of us. Some of them were of all us in your wedding, some were of just Cole and me on the different trips we took and some were of all of us on Prue's funeral. Funny but despite how hard the death of Prue was, looking back on it, those were some of the happiest times of my life. I was in love, Piper. Not only that but I was loved, really loved. Someone really, really _loved me._ A powerful demon had walked away from all he knew, defying the source of all evil because he loved _me_, above all things. I guess you, and maybe only you, have an idea of how powerful a feeling that is. To have a powerful being turn his back on his heritage, his life just because they love you. There's noting else like it, is there?" Phoebe asked Piper.

Piper had never really thought about it before. Sure, she knew what Leo had given up to be with her and the boys, but she had never really see the similarities in what Cole had done to be with her sister. And if she was to be honest with herself, Cole had had a much harder road to walk than Leo, and he had been willing to walk it before Leo had. But despite the differences, Piper knew what it was to be loved above all by a powerful being who gave it all up for her. And she knew what an awesome feeling that was. "No, there's nothing quite like it. And not much that can even come close to it, is there?" she answered Phoebe.

"I knew that back then, I understood it and respected it. But somehow along the way I lost sight of it. But it all came back as I looked at the pictures. And I brought the sweater to hold it close to me as those forgotten emotions came rising up. And that is when I understood just what it was that I had felt that day you laid dying. I had felt Cole's presence. I'm not sure how or why, but for a few moments as I was leaving the Manor that day, I felt him and I could swear I actually heard his voice again." Phoebe paused a minute to gather her thoughts and Piper debated with herself whether she should tell her sister about why she heard Cole or whether she should wait and see what Phoebe is thinking.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be.

**AN:** I'll try and not post so many author's notice in the future. But I have to say thank you for the reviews. I only posted the first two chapters last night and I already have two reviews. THANK YOU. You don't know how much it means to me. This is the first story I actually written down, I 'authored' many stories in my head, but never written them down becuause I figure know would be interested. So, thank you. And I would do my best to finish it quickly. I know how impatiant I get to get new chapters of stories I like. AndI would defenetily have to finish it now. :) Also, as I've said English is not my first language so sometimes I used expressions that I've heard, I know what they mean but they might not have the same impact on me than on anyone else. I said this becuase I wrote what could be a curse word. But I'm not sure - I've heard it quite a bit. If I'm wrong please let me know, and I won't use again. And if I offend someone, I'm really sorry. Finally, though I was a bit leery of Cole when he first showed up in the show, he ended up being one of my favorite characters. So, when I saw his eyes glow red at the end of the episode where they defeated the source, I knew I wasn't going to like what they were going to do with him and I stopped watching the show. That may be why there are some continuity problems. Most if not all I know from that time in the show come from fanfiction - so sorry is I'm wrong. Let me know and I'll collect it in the future. Well, I think that's it. Enjoy this chapter!

Disclamer: I can't believe I forgot it. But, neither Charmed nor its characters nor anything connected to it belong to me, but rather WB.

Chapter 3

Just as Piper was about ready to tell Phoebe why she had heard Cole that day a year ago, Phoebe started to speak again, but a little slower, more hesitant. Not that she had been all that fast before but as hard as before had been on her, this part was even harder. Now she had to admit out loud that she screwed up. For a minute there Phoebe was not sure she could continue. She had screw up some much in her life that she did not want to admit to another one. Especially on the one area of her life where most of those screw ups had been and the one time when she had been sure she had not screw up. But after thinking it over for almost a year, she was forced to admit she had messed up, big time. Now the only thing left was admitting it out loud. So, after shutting her eyes and calling forth all of her courage, Phoebe continued.

"After that I just couldn't stop thinking about him, Piper. Thinking about all the good times we had and all the bad. For the first time since he died I looked back at our time together – at _all_ of it and not just at the last year. I went through every moment we spent together since the night he came up to us and introduce himself. Do you remember that, Piper?" Phoebe asked with a glint in her eyes that had been missing for more time that Piper wanted to admit.

"Yes, of course I remember it. How could I not? 'Ladies, my name is Cole Turner' or something like that, wasn't it?" answered Piper with a slight grin as she too thought back to those days.

"Yeah, that's what he said alright. Didn't he look? God, I thought he was the cutest thing I've ever seen and he was a lawyer to boot. I think I started falling for him right then and there." Sighed Phoebe and gave Piper a small, silly grin.

"Well, I have to agree he did look pretty good. I think even Prue thought so."

"Yeah, so do I. Though I'm sure she would never have admitted it."

"No, probably not." Admitted Piper. And for a few minutes the sisters lost themselves in memories of their eldest sister.

Shaking the memories away for another time, Phoebe forced herself to continue. "Anyway, after thinking about all the times we had together – the good and the bad – I realized something. Something I had not seen before. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the anger and pain were too fresh. Or maybe because to see it and acknowledge it would have meant that I failed." And against her best intentions, Phoebe's voice trailed off again.

"Failed? Failed at what? Phoebe, I'm not sure I know what you are talking about." Said Piper into the silence. Though, she had an idea of where this was going. And to be truthful she had had the same thoughts herself lately.

"Not what, who. I failed Cole, Piper. I failed him and myself. I promised him that I would always stand by him that I love him and that that love would last forever and just when he most needed me I left him and demanded that he stopped coming around. I failed him, myself and our love. That's who I failed." Answered Phoebe in a somewhat tremulous voice.

"Phoebe don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself here? I mean after all you didn't give up on him right away. If I remember correctly you went along with him for quite a while. I mean you even lived with him as his queen – the Queen of the underworld, Phoebe. You only came back when the baby started to turn you evil. That's not what I call giving up on someone." Piper defended her sister and the actions she had taken back then. Because even if Piper had started to think that they could have done something else, she did not doubt the rightness of their actions – Cole had needed to be stopped, for his sake as well as everyone else's.

But Phoebe shook her head. She did not want to be defended. It was only recently that she had started to feel guilty about the events surrounding Cole's death. And as crazy as it may sound she wanted, needed to feel the guilt. Oh, she knew she was not solely responsible for what happened, that Cole had had a large portion of guilt as well. But after denying any guilt whatsoever for the past few years, Phoebe felt that she needed not only to acknowledge her responsibility but to actually feel the guilt. Not forever, Phoebe was not into martyrdom, but for a while at least.

"No, Piper. I did fail him and I did give up on him. I'm not saying he did nothing wrong or that we were wrong in vanquishing him, but I have to owe up to my own faults. Yes, I did stay with him when we found out about the source, and I did let him made me his queen. But what about after? No, what about during?"

At the last question, Piper looked at Phoebe confused and told her, "I don't know what you mean by that."

"I mean, shouldn't I have figured there was something wrong with him? Paige tried to tell us and we didn't listen. If I loved him so much, shouldn't I have been the one to _sense_ something was going on? Maybe if I had sense something was wrong, maybe we could have done something to save him. Because we should have save him, Piper. He was an innocent. That's another conclusion I have come to in this last few months. He was possessed by the source, he wasn't the source – at least not by choice. I really believe that Piper. He had finally broken free of that life; there was no way he would have willingly go back to it, no way. And the only reason he was possessed was because he had tried to help us. The only way the source was able to take over him was when Cole took the Hollow. And you know he did that for us, don't you Piper?" pressed Phoebe.

Piper swallowed a bit uncomfortable, but she had to concede the point. "Yes, Phoebe. I know that Cole only took the Hollow to save us. And if what you're saying is true and he was possessed then I guess he was taken over because of us and he was an innocent we should have saved." Piper exhaled loudly and then went on, "God, that certainly puts a very different spin on everything that went on, doesn't it?"


	4. Phoebe confronts her feelings

Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be.

**AN: **Thanks for all your reviews; you guys don't know how much it means. katbaby: a special thanks to you as you were my first reviewer, I'm glad you like the story. sarah220: she will in the next chapter. PunkRokPixie: Oops, I'm sorry you're right. It's been so long I forgot. I guess we can just assume that since Phoebe was so in love with Cole, she at one time or another told Piper all about the first time she met him. I'd say I'll go back and change it but I'm so busy trying to finish it that I probably won't. GrantingTroyTurner: I'm glad you think the relationship between Piper and Phoebe seems real - that's just what I wanted. Just because the show is fantasy doesn't mean we can't have some real relationships. I also wish we could see something like this on the show. charmed1s-halliwells: I agree, like they say it takes two to tango and Phoebe was also in some ways responsible for the failed relationship - though in this story she'll feel more than slightly responsible. ethereal girl: if you like the soulsearching you'll love this chapter! It's a little longer than the previous ones, but I wanted to get talk about Phoebe's guilt and denial and the reasons for both in one chapter. The previous ones where basically leading to this, this is the one where she'll really explore those feelings and I just thought it would be better if it was all together. Well, here it is - hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 4

Phoebe looked at her older sister as if she couldn't quite figure something out, but after a while she went on. "Yes, it certainly does. Don't get me wrong, I know you're right. By the end we needed to vanquish him. The source had been in him too long, they were too intertwined, there was no other way to stop the source and save Cole. We probably save his soul that way. So, though I regret not having seen the danger before and done something to save Cole, I have no regrets about vanquishing him. No, what I regret is letting it get to the point. I loved him Piper. I was the one that should have known him better than anyone; I should have seen something was wrong."

Piper put her arm about her sister and tried to console her. "I understand what you're saying but I still think you're being too hard on yourself, Pheebs."

Phoebe started to shake her head but she stopped and after a while answered Piper. "Maybe. But after everything that happened I think that is the least I can do. Because not noticing that the source had possessed him and vanquishing him was one thing. And I guess one could excuse it to some extent by the fact that Cole had been a demon and that he was acting evil again. But, what about when he came back? Yeah, I know that he went a little crazy but I was the only person that had ever been there for him. My telling him I wanted nothing to do with him didn't help. In fact, it probably sent him deeper into madness. Everything he had done, he did it to be with me and I threw him out, Piper. Told him I didn't love him anymore."

Piper noticed how that last sentence and Phoebe's tone of voice made it sound as if that had been a lie and she in fact had still loved and maybe even still loves Cole. She thought about bringing it up, but decided that they would get to it soon enough and for now there were more pressing matters. "Phoebe, you know as well as I that we are not responsible for the actions of others. Besides that, you were hurting, honey. It was only natural that you didn't want to be around the person who was responsible for that hurt."

This time Phoebe did shake her head. "No, Piper. Ok, normally we are not responsible for someone else's actions. But in this case . . . Piper, I had promised him that I would always love him and that I would always stand by him. I married him for heaven's sake. He probably came back because he believed in my promises. And he didn't give up because he was sure I had meant them. And, yes you're right. I was hurting and being with him at that time would not have been good. But" she brought her hand up and stopped Piper when she started to talk. "But, I should have realized that I was not the only one hurting. And even if being together as a couple then would not have been good, I could have been there as a friend. If only for all that we have meant to each other, I could have tried to make him see that anything more would not have worked. And I could have helped him. I knew he was not doing well, that he needed help, my help. But I didn't even try. I was too wrapped up in my own pain that I ignored his and I did not even realized that the only way he could have survived the vanquishing was if his soul had still been good. And that that meant he had been an innocent – an innocent that I had failed to save. So, not only did I royally messed up as his lover and friend but I was so blinded I also failed as a Charmed one." Phoebe paused for a minute to catch her breath, as she had been going pretty fast at the end.

Piper took the opportunity to interrupt and told her: "Phoebe if you failed as a Charmed you didn't fail alone. The three of us are the Charmed ones, and if you failed then we all did."

"Maybe. But you were mostly following my lead and responding to my pain. And anyway, I was the one he loved, the one who loved him. It should have been me that realized he needed help. I'm not sure if you guys could have done anything by yourselves. But regardless, I'm not telling you all this to make you feel guilty. That's the last thing I want."

"But you don't mind feeling guilty yourself?"

"No, like I said I need to owe up to my responsibilities. I need to acknowledge them and deal with the emotional repercussions. It's taken me a long time and a lot of soul searching, more than I ever want to do again. But, I've finally gotten to a place where I can look back at everything that happened back then. I can now look back and for the first time see what really happened. As much as it may hurt me, I can now look back without anger and pain clouding my perspective. I can see where I went wrong; I can finally accept that it was _not_ all Cole's fault; that _I_ was also responsible for a lot of what happened." Phoebe stopped for a minute and took a deep breath. After a while she went on. "It was not easy, believe me. I had spent a long time denying that I was in any way responsible for the whole fiasco. Coming to terms with my guilt was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Even if it was necessary."

"Necessary? Why do think that it was necessary?" Asked Piper.

"Because I can't move on until I've dealt with all my issues. I think that's one of the reasons I haven't been able to fall in love again."

Piper once more noticed that Phoebe seemed to hint that she still loved Cole, but once again she let it pass. There were still some things that needed to be dealt with before they got into what Phoebe still felt for Cole and what she intended to do about it. Because Piper knew her sister; and she knew that while Phoebe needed to talk this out – that's not the only reason she was finally talking about it. No, Phoebe was finally talking about it because whether she knew it or not she had come to some decision and was ready for some action. So instead of asking about Phoebe's feelings for Cole, she said: "So, what about Jason, Leslie even Drake? You can't mean to tell me you didn't love them."

"Yes, I love them, but I was not in love with them. And that's another conclusion I just recently arrived at. So, you see this past year has been a very busy one for me - and that's why it may have seemed that I was not always around, even when I was." Phoebe sort of joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little.

Piper snorted and said, "You can say that again. So, have you dealt with all your issues, now?

Phoebe sighed and moved to pace to the window and stare out of it. After a while she sighed and went on. "Have I dealt with all my issues? I think so." She stopped for a moment to take a deep breath and as she started talking again she wrapped her arms around her middle. "The thing is, Piper, that after I accepted the responsibility, it all seemed so clear that the question remained: why? Why had it taken me so long to see, to understand? Why had I been so blind, steeped in such denial?"

Piper sighed and tried to comfort her sister, "Honey, you were hurting. It's only normal that you did not want to face it."

"Yes, there is that. I was definitely hurting back then. But that's not all, or I would have seen it before. I mean I kept going on and on about how I was over it, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. But maybe you just were not ready then."

"And I am now?" She asked a bit sarcastically. And then she shook her head and started talking before Piper could answer. "No, Piper that's not it – I mean what's different between now and then? Nothing. I'm telling you, if I had not felt that presence and looked at those pictures I would still be in denial for God knows how long."

"Ok, then why do think it is?"

"Because," Phoebe stopped again to take another breath and turned to look out the window. "Because I had been in denial for so long and for so many things, that I'm not sure I even knew what the truth was anymore. Not until it hit me over the head. But once it did I had no choice but to look at everything and to see it for what it was not what I wanted it to be. And that's when I realized . . ."

After the silence had gone on for a while, Piper prompted her to speak, "What, honey, what did you realized?"

After taking another deep breath, Phoebe started talking again, firmly keeping her eyes on the sky outside the window and her arms tight around herself. "That to accept my responsibility, my guilt for the events of that year meant that I also had to look at and accept the facts that led to my guilt."

"I don't think I understand what you mean." Said Piper perplexed. She was truly confused. For the first time since this talk had begun she had absolutely no idea what Phoebe meant or where she was going with this.

"Piper, don't you see? I had to deny that I _had_ any guilt for the whole fiasco; I _had_ to deny that I loved Cole and I _had_ to deny that any of that still hurt me. To do otherwise would have meant not only that I was responsible but that I actually cause the death of the love of my life." Phoebe stopped again and let out a big breath. She was frustrated because even without looking at Piper, she knew Piper wasn't getting it and she knew she wasn't doing a great job of explaining what she meant. After another big breath, she turned to look at Piper and continued. "Piper, denial is a powerful tool that allows us to go on with our lives when we do things that affects us so much, we don't think we could deal with them any other way. That's why is so common, because it absolves us of our responsibilities. The only thing is, our responsibility, our guilt is always there – whether we choose to confront it or not. And when we do confront it, we have to face not only the guilt but the behavior that led to that guilt. I couldn't face that I was in any way responsible for what happened with Cole because to do so would mean confronting the _fact_ that I let him down. That I was not there for him when he needed me most. That I lost faith in our love. That I was not strong enough to fight for our love. That I found it easier to give in to evil than to fight for my soul mate. And that when the consequences of my actions became glaringly apparent, I again found it easier to do away with the problem and him and then bury the whole thing than to deal with it. Don't you see, Piper? It wasn't only the guilt that I was denying. In a way I think that the guilt wasn't even the primary thing I was denying. I was denying the fact that my actions, my failures and weaknesses led to Cole's death. However necessary his death might have become, the fact still remains that if I had seen the danger before; or if I had been strong enough to fight for my love like I always said I would – regardless of how much I was hurting; if I had been loyal enough to stand by Cole when he came back – even if only as a friend, then most of what happened would not have happened. And I would not be here alone, regretting the death of the love of my life." She again stoppen for a while to take a calming breath and then went on. "I don't know if I'm explaining this right. I know that it might sound like I was in denial about the same things. But its not. The guilt and the reasons for the guilt are two different things. And of the two, the guilt is easier to live with. But learning to live with the fact that I was directly responsible for his death . . ." she stopped and shook her head. "I don't know, Piper. _That_ is the hardest thing I'll ever to do and I'm not sure how I'll do it. I mean he's dead Piper. He's gone and I'll . . ." she stopped and tried to swallowed the knot that was forming in her throat. "I'll never get to tell him I'm sorry, that I . . ." and as her composure finally failed, Phoebe broke down, buried her head in her hands and slid down to the floor as she sobbed as if her heart was breaking, which in a sense it was.

"Oh, honey." sighed Piper as she hurried to her sister's side and kneeling next to her put her arms around her and tried to consoled her, knowing that there was nothing she could do to alleviate the pain her sister was feeling - except tell her exactly why she had felt Cole's presence that day a year ago and just who it was that had help Piper reached Leo. Yes, she nodded her head, silently agreeing with herself, the time had finally come to tell Phoebe everything.

**This is a longer chapter than the ones before, but like I said above I thought that it would be better if I put Phoebe's denial, the reasons for it and her feelings about it together. Let me know what you think. I promised I'll have chapter 5 and maybe 6 up tomorrow. **


	5. Piper comes clean

Despite it all, its still you - it always was, it always will be

charmed1s-halliwells: don't worry, of course I will, but not untill at least two more chapters. otherwise what would be the point, right? I am so not into angst. A bit of sadness is good as long as the end is happy - and this will be a happy ending. ethereal girl: I'm glad you liked it, I thought you might. And yeah, I was thinking about doing that and since you brought it out I probably will now. sergfal30: oye, no molestes. I'll try and keep them shorter, but no promises, (te saco la lengua lol) for those that speak spanish he's my brother so I'm not really insulting a stranger. Wicked R: what can I say? I tend to overanalyze things, specially feelings. My family tell that is not such a good thing. But the end result is that if I write any more fiction they will all probably be about interpersonal relationships and not have very much action. If anyone has some ideas for action demonic style, let me know. I can't see to be able to come up with it. Paige and Leo will be coming in the next couple of chapters. Well here it is, I hope you like it. As I say later on, I hope that everyone that's been waiting to see how Phoebe reacts to Piper's news are not too disappointed.

Chapter 5

"Shh, honey. It'll be all right. You'll see everything will be all right." Piper said trying to calm her sister down.

"No, Piper, it won't. Weren't you listing?" Phoebe cried out as she disentangled herself from her sister and moved to leaned back against the wall. Tears were still falling down her face, but she didn't seem to care. "He's gone and it's because of me; because I denied that I love him; I denied him and our love. I lied to him, Piper, and worst of all I lied to myself. And in so doing I condemned both of us – him to the wasteland, probably, and me to a life alone. Because, Piper" Phoebe stopped again to take a big breath and wiped some of the tears from her cheeks. She closed her eyes for a minute and seemed to be gathering her courage once again, before she continued. "Because he _was_ the love of my life, my soul mate. I know that now Piper. I guess I've always known it; I just lost of sight of it for a while. But now I'm sure of it, Piper. And nothing can change it. I love him, I always have and I always will. But he's gone and I can't tell him how sorry I am or how much I love him. And . . . I . . ." Phoebe lost it once again and fell back into her sister's arms to cry out her heartache.

"I know, honey. But you know that in this family death is not a big obstacle to communication. Heck, sometimes death is not even permanent. So, if you need to talk to him maybe you could."

Phoebe brought her head up from her sister's lap and looked at her while she wiped her cheeks. Something was not adding up here, Piper was not reacting like Phoebe thought she would. But she'd get into that later, right now she answer her. "Piper, don't you think I've tried already? I've been calling him for a while now but nothing. It's just like it was when Prue first passed and we couldn't get her. Only, I don't understand why. With Prue it was because she had just passed and we needed to deal with it. But Cole's been death for years now and I still can't get him."

"Well maybe you are not using the right spell or maybe you are not calling the right place." Piper answered her as if calling the other side to talk to the spirits of people who have die was as normal as calling an old friend in Europe. When she realized this she shook her head and thought how weird their lives were. For all of her talk of wanting a normal life more than anything else, Piper was almost sure that she would not be able to recognize normal even if she was hit on the head with it. Piper sighed to herself as she admitted that she's been a witch for too long to be able to have any semblance of a normal life. But as she noticed Phoebe looking at her like she's grown another head in the last couple of minutes, she put those thoughts out of her head. She would need all of her wits for the upcoming confrontation because she had a feeling Phoebe would not be entirely happy to find out what Piper has been keeping from her for over a year.

Phoebe looked at her sister while she finished wiping her eyes and face. There was something off about the whole conversion, she thought to herself as she looked deep into her sister's eyes searchingly. But the only thing she found was concern for her and maybe a bit of apprehension. Nothing like the fear or the anger she had been sure Piper would feel as soon as she heard Cole's name. That had been one of the reasons why Phoebe had not talk to her sisters about any of this before; she was sure both would quickly tell her she was responsible for nothing, to leave well enough alone and would have gotten angry if she had insisted in taking responsibility. But here was Piper looking calm and collected. And now that she was calmer herself and could think about it, Phoebe realized that Piper had been remarkably calm throughout the conversation. Phoebe thought about this for a few minutes, trying to come up with reasons for why this would be as she kept searching her sister's eyes and face. But after a while she came up with nothing and decided that the best thing would be to ask. "Ok, just what is going on with you, Piper?" Phoebe finally demanded.

"Nothing is going on. What could be going on?" Piper answered as she got up from the floor, straighten her skirt and walked to the Book of Shadows. She did all this to gain some minutes while she try and put her thoughts in order. She had known from almost the beginning of the conversation that she would have to come clean about it. Heck, she had talked it over with Leo a few days ago and they had decided that it was time to tell Phoebe everything. So, it was not like she was caught unaware, but now that the moment was there Piper found that thinking and talking about telling Phoebe was a lot easier than _telling_ Phoebe and she suddenly had no idea how to tell her or even where to begin. To her amusement and charging, she realized that she and Phoebe seemed to have changed places from the beginning of the conversation – now she was the one that did not know how to begin while Phoebe was the one waiting for the answers.

Phoebe had been waiting for Piper to finally answer her because that 'nothing is going on' line was not going to cut it, but as she saw her sister flip through the Book she realized that Piper was stalling. And that perplexed her more than anything else; why would Piper want to stall? She only did that when she wanted to avoid a subject or when she was not sure how to broach it or how it would be received. At this thought, Phoebe started to get the feeling that she would not like whatever it was Piper was going to say and that, however improbable it may seem, it most likely had to do with Cole. So, loosing most of her patience Phoebe asked again, "Piper, what _is_ going on? And please don't tell me nothing. I know something is. Not only are you stalling,"

"I am not stalling." Interrupted Piper, trying to defend herself, though she knew that she was stalling.

"Yes, Piper, you are. Don't bother denying it because we both know you are. But that's not all. I mean look at you, look at how call you are." Phoebe said, gesturing with her hand towards her sister.

"And what's wrong with me calm, I ask you?" Piper responded with her hands on her hips.

"Nothing but we're talking about Cole here, Piper. I didn't expect you to react so, so . . . calmly."

"And how did you expect me to react?" Piper asked her hands still on her hips. She apparently had decided that offense was the best defense.

"I'm not exactly sure, maybe screaming, yelling, cursing – something along those lines."

"And would you have preferred any of those responses, missy?"

"No, Piper, I wouldn't." Phoebe answered exasperated, she was being put on the defensive and she did not appreciate it – especially when she still thought that Piper was hiding something. "But this is _Cole_ we're talking about here, Piper. Remember him? The same Cole that was once the source of all evil; the same one that pretty much split us up and almost destroyed us; the one that almost killed you while you were pregnant with Wyatt; the one that went crazy and stalked me; the one that created an alternative reality all so that Paige would never come into our lives; the one that we had to vanquish twice? Remember him?" Phoebe all but screamed at Piper she was getting so annoyed at all of her sister's evasions.

"Yes, Phoebe I remember him. But I thought you just finished telling me that most of that was not his fault. Or that we could have avoided most of it if we had saved him at the beginning when he was an innocent. That is what you just finished telling me, right?" Piper answered sarcastically.

Phoebe answered very calmly and very slowly, kind of like you do when you're speaking to a two year old that is trying your patience and it's all you can do not to scream your head off at him. "Yes, Piper, that is what I said, but it took me about a year to get there and every other time we've talked about Cole before you've reacted with either anger or fear so excuse me for being confused and a bit suspicious when you start reacting so calm about me telling you that I'm still in love with him. So, will you just tell me what the heck is going on? Why are you so calm? And what was that crack about calling the wrong place?" Phoebe, hands on _her_ hips, finished in a near roar, finally giving into her exasperation.

"You are not the only that's thought about what went on back then, ok? I've also been thinking about it – a lot and I had more or less come to some very similar conclusions." Piper answered Phoebe. Ok, so that was not exactly the beginning and she was ignoring her own advice – good advice at that. But somehow this seemed a better place to start the whole explanation. Also, the look on Phoebe's face was priceless, and if the conversation had not been so serious Piper would have been laughing right about now.

Phoebe had her mouth open as if she was to start speaking, but then she closed and opened it again. She did this a few times, until she was finally able to get out: "You've been thinking about this too? And you've come to similar conclusions? Wow, I can't believe it. I'm glad but why? What made you start thinking about it?"

"Believe it or not, the same thing that made_ you_ start thinking about it: Cole." Piper answered her, almost smirking. Despite the seriousness of the situation, she was almost starting to enjoy herself. It was not always that she got to see Phoebe so completely dumfounded or surprise her so completely either.

Phoebe for her part was glad that her pacing had gotten her close to the sofa because all of the sudden her knees became very weak and she had to hastily sit down. She knew her mouth was still hanging open, but she had not been expecting that answer. It took her a few moments before she was able to close her mouth and almost in a whisper asked Piper: "Cole? What do you mean?"

Piper took a deep breath, this time it was her gathering all her courage. The time for evasions and having a bit of fun had passed. This was it; she had to tell Phoebe exactly what went on last year. "Well, you remember when I came to after Wyatt heal me and I said that an old friend had help me find a way to connect with Leo?" Piper asked and went on when Phoebe just nodded her head. "Well, that friend was Cole." Piper saw Phoebe's mouth hung open again and after waiting a few seconds to see if she would say anything, Piper continued: "It was him that told me I had to let go; that that was the only way for Leo to feel me and remember me. He said that he had always been able to feel when something happened to you just like Leo could with me; the fact that he didn't know who I was didn't change anything, it just made things a bit harder and Leo needed a bigger punch than usual to understand what it was that he was feeling. And I guess he was right, because I talked to Leo after and he said that he had had the feeling that someone needed him the whole day he just couldn't remember who it was until he felt me let go. Then he said if was like a wave of love that knocked the sense and memory back into him. Pretty much how Cole had describe it. So, that's why you felt his presence that day as you were leaving the manor, because he was there. And how you said you almost heard his voice? He told you you were still beautiful just as you were walking out. I guess you're more in tune with him than anyone else realized, huh?" With this Piper stopped and let Phoebe take in everything she had said. She took a deep breath and noticed how much better she felt; 'I guess what they say is true: confession really is good for the soul' she thought to herself as she watched Phoebe come to terms with everything she had told her.

Phoebe was completely surprised. But after a few minutes she realized she shouldn't be; she should have expected some something like this, after all it made sense. She shook her head and laughed ruefully to herself; 'leave it to Cole to do the totally unexpected; just when you think he's gone you find out he's not' Phoebe thought to herself. Then she thought that the connection between them is still there; it's true that he had always been able to sense whenever something was wrong with her – just like she's always been able to sense when he was near or when he was in danger, and apparently she's still able to sense him. That thought made her feel good; like it was a confirmation that he _is_ her soul mate. But wait why had Piper seen him? Where had she seen him? And why hadn't Piper told her all this before now?" As soon as these questions presented themselves, Phoebe asked them: "How did you see him? Is he some sort of angel? And why hadn't you tell me this before?" The last question was asked in a hard, angry voice; because Phoebe was starting to get angry that Piper had kept this from her all this time.

Piper snorted at the notion of Cole being an angel. She also heard the edge to Phoebe's voice when she asked why she had taken so long to tell her this, but she chose to ignore it. Piper had decided that she was not going to give Phoebe a chance to get really mad and start yelling at her, there were more important things they should be doing. "No, he's not an angel. Can you really see Cole as an angel?" Asked Piper, and was somewhat relieved when Phoebe smiled and shook her heard. "No, he's in between planes, this one and the hereafter. The only reason he came to me was to help me find and keep my true love so that you wouldn't lose your faith in love. He said that I couldn't give up after everything that Leo and I had been through, and if I wasn't going to do it for me and Leo then I could at least do it for you because if our love failed you wouldn't believe in love again. And he said that unlike you two, Leo and I had what it took to make it. I'm very grateful to him, to tell you the truth. And after things calmed down a bit after Leo came back, I started to think and remembering all the good things he had done for us, before the source took him over. And that's when I realized that as bad as things had gotten he had saved all of our asses more than once; that if he had really wanted us dead he had had more than enough opportunities to just let us die without actually killing us. After realizing that, it was just a small step to realizing that the source had probably taken him over and had been responsible for everything that happened back then and that Cole had been an innocent after all. Although to tell you the truth, I don't think he sees it that way. He seems to have accepted that everything that had happened was his fault, and that his penance for that and every other evil deed he did in his lifetime is being stuck in limbo for eternity. I think that's why you have not been able to connect with him. You've probably using the regular spell to call spirits from the other side, but he's not on the other side. He's in between here and there – there's probably a special spell you need if you want to call him. That's what I meant by you calling the wrong place, by the way." Piper finished saying everything that she meant to say. She had ignored the different faces Phoebe had made throughout her speech, but she had just wanted to get it all out and maybe delayed letting her speak enough that when she did she'd have enough other stuff to talk about that she would forget to be mad. Now, she waited to see how Phoebe was going to react.

It was all Phoebe could do to take in everything Piper had just said. There were a lot of things to take in, but Phoebe lump them in three piles: first and most important – Cole was stuck in some sort of limbo for eternity and he had accepted that fate. 'Well,' Phoebe thought, 'he might have but I haven't, now all I have to do if find out how to talk to him and how to bring him back.' Second Piper had apparently forgiven him for all the stuff he did as the source. Or at least come to the conclusion that he was not responsible which came to the same thing. 'That' though Phoebe 'is a very good thing if I'm planning in bringing him into the family. Once Piper accepts someone, everyone else has to fall in line.' And third Piper had kept all of this from her for over a year, and had apparently discussed it with Leo, Phoebe wondered if Paige was in it too. While the first two things may in the long run be more important, Phoebe decided to address the last one first since it had not escape her notice that that whole speech of Piper had been to distract her. She too knew her sister. "You talked to Cole and you never bothered to tell me? How could you, Piper? You knew what he meant to me. Why did you keep this from me, uhm? And who besides Leo knows about it? How you talked to Paige about it too?"

At this point, Piper decided to interrupt and end Phoebe's rant before she really got into it. "The only person I talked about this with was Leo. I didn't tell Paige because she has no interest in Cole and because, frankly, I didn't think she would react all that well to the news. As to why I didn't tell you, for pretty much the same reason. I didn't think you would have a good reaction. You have to admit that you had not been at your most rational when it came to Cole for the last few years. And if you really were over him there was not point in my bringing it up and if you were not, well I didn't want to chance bringing you down when you were doing your best to get over it. Now, do you want to be mad at me and yell for not telling you all about it before, or do you want to help me look for a spell so that you can connect with him, uh?

Phoebe looked at her sister for long while. She was really tempted to yell at her, but she had to admit everything she had said made sense. And really, now that she knew exactly where Cole was and why she hadn't been able to connect with him before all she wanted to do was try and find a way to talk to him. So she took a big breath put the meager anger she felt towards her sister aside, walked to the Book to stand next to Piper and said "Let's look for that spell. But don't think you're totally off the hook. We will get back to this" Phoebe told Piper sternly. But she put her arm around her and gave a squeeze, silently telling Piper that she was not all that mad. And with that the two sisters went about looking how to connect to a spirit caught in limbo.

**Another long chapter. Initially this was just going to be about Piper telling Phoebe and Phoebe reacting not so good. But this is what came out instead – I justkept writing about the sisters' feelings and could not resist the banter. But since most of you seem to like how I'm protraying them, so I hope you don't mind. Also, I wanted to make this chapter a bit lighter since last chapter was so emotional. I hope all of you that were waiting to see how Phoebe reacted to Piper's confession are not dissapointed. I originally was going to make her get made and yell quite a bit, but as I was writing the chapter it just did not see to fit too well. I thought her getting excited about getting to see and maybe bring Cole back was a better fit. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it.**


	6. Paige learns of Phoebe's plans

Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be.

**AN:** I'm sorry that this chapter has taken longer to be posted. I was mostly done with it a while ago, but my nephews came to visit and I could not finish it nor post it. As I've said in past chapters, I stopped watching Charmed when Cole become possessed by the source so I apologize if I've made any mistake in continuity - especially regarding what happened to Paige during that year, all I know about it has come from other fanfics. I tried to keep it to generalities, but one never knows. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as the others.

ethereal girl: no, you are not pitiful - I love happy endings too. And as this is my story, it will definetily have a happy ending for _everyone _concerned. As this chapter makes clearer, he will definetily be coming back.

Chapter 6

About an hour later, Phoebe and Piper were still trying to find a way to contact Cole. Piper was going through the Book, while Phoebe was sitting on the couch going through some of their other books. When Phoebe had first decided to contact Cole, about two months ago, she had gone through the Book – cover to cover – and had found nothing. She had told Piper that there was nothing, but Piper insisted that Phoebe had just being looking on the wrong place. Cole was in limbo, she said, he had not gone on to the other side andshe was sure that had to make a difference. That disagreement had lasted about ten minutes, until Phoebe had given up and told Piper that if she wanted to waste time going through something that Phoebe had already gone through then she was welcome to do so, but she was going to move on to other books and see if she could find something useful there.

The sisters had been silently going about their research until suddenly Piper told Phoebe, without looking up from the Book: "We are going have to tell her, you know? Because sooner or later she'll find out and it'll be better if she finds out from us and not by accident." Piper looked up at Phoebe as she finished speaking.

Phoebe sighed, took off her reading glasses and massaged her nose where the glasses had started to pinched. "Yes, I know. It's just that. . ." She sighed again and leaned forward to rest her elbows on the book that rested on her lap. She looked at her hands playing with the arms of her eyeglasses for a while before going on. "She won't react well, you know. She won't understand my need to face Cole again and she'll go on and on about how he did evil and is therefore evil and how I should move on and leave the past in the past. She won't understand that he's the love of my life or that . . ." Phoebe trailed off as she thought of all the things that Paige won't understand, a bit overwhelmed by the thought of having to confront one of her sisters because of Cole all over again. With another sigh, Phoebe finished with a simple, "She just won't understand and probably won't even accept it."

Piper also sighed and agreed with Phoebe. "No, she probably won't understand. But you have to remember that of the three of us, Cole targeted her more than the two of us. It was her life that was upset the most when he altered reality. She was hurt and betrayed by him and unlike us she hasn't dealt with it. She hasn't felt the need to think back on those days from a different perspective and maybe see that Cole was also an innocent. So, she'll probably feel betrayed by us when she finds out." Piper finished with a 'what can you do' shrug. She then continued hoping to cheer Phoebe up a bit, "Well, cheer up. She may be pissed but at least she won't only be pissed at you." She then went on to explained as she saw her sister's somewhat puzzled face. "She's going to be really pissed at me because I didn't tell her that Cole was the friend that helped me last year."

"Yes, there is that." Agreed Phoebe, more comforted by the thought that she won't be alone in getting on Paige's bad side than cheered by it.

"There is that, what?" asked Paige as she walked into the attic.

Both Piper and Phoebe looked over at Paige, startled. They have been so into their discussion they have not heard her come up the stairs. Phoebe was particularly rattled as she had not even sensed her youngest sister's approach. Piper saw this and as a way of delaying the inevitable – she seemed to be doing that a lot lately, must have picked it up from Phoebe, she thought to herself – asked Paige, "So, what's it a real emergency this time?"

Over the last year, Paige had been developing her whitelighterhalf and doing such a good job of it, the elders had recently given her a new charge. She had had the new charge for a little over a month now, but sometimes it felt like it had been at least a year.

Maxie, a young witch of 26, was what was commonly known as a drama queen. She was a good person and could develop to be a powerful witch, not as powerful as the Charmed Ones but still a strong force for good; its just that she had this tendency to blow everything out of proportion. _Everything_. About two weeks ago, a chipped nail was enough for her to scream for her whitelighter for about an hour. Paige at the time had been in the middle of a vanquishing and though she had left as soon as her sisters were able to handle it themselves, but the time she had gotten to Maxie's place the young witch had been in near hysterics. It had taken Paige about two hours to calm her down she then went on to explained to Maxie that a chipped nail was most definitely_ not_ an emergency and that she should only call for real emergencies because aside from all the rest (how it was a waste of time to call for non-emergencies, how whiteligthers were not there to heal every little hurt and so on) Paige was also a Charmed One and as such she had to vanquish demons with her sisters and a call was always a distraction when she was in the middle of a battle so they should be kept to a minimum to avoid the possibility that a distracted Paige may get injured or caused one of her sisters to be injured.

That had not been the first such discussion nor was it the last. Maxie seemed to be unable to understand what constitutes a really emergency and what was just life; or maybe it was that she did not know how to handle little every day to day stuff by herself. Regardless of the reason, Paige had been 'on call' night and day since the day she had been assigned Maxie, with no idea when she would get a call (because it seemed that another thing Maxie did not understand was the difference between night and day) or how to tell when a call was serious or not. Paige was sure there had to be a way and Leo had told her it was all in the pitch of the call, but Paige was not experienced enough to really understand what he was talking about. So in the meantime, Paige had to answer every call because she could not risk not answering her in case that one time it was for real.

"So, so" Paige answered Piper. "She'd cut her hand as she was peeling an orange. It wasn't too bad but it wasn't a chip nail either. She would have needed stitches if she'd gone to the hospital, so I healed her. So, what's up? What are you guys researching? Maybe I can help."

Piper and Phoebe looked at each other, each trying to prompt the other to be the first one to tell Paige. After a few moments, Piper sighed and conceded defeated. She turned to her youngest sister. "Paige sweetie, do you remember last year when Leo lost her memory and I was really hurt?" she asked Paige.

"Of course, I remember, Piper. How could I not? I mean you were not just hurt, Piper, you almost died. How could I forget something like that?" Answered Paige.

"Yes, of course. Well, then you also remember how when I woke up I told you guys that a friend had helped?"

"Yes, I do. But you never did tell us just which friend had helped you. Are you going to tell us now?" Paige asked with a small smile. She was really curious to find out who had help her sister back then.

"Well, I did tell Leo back then. I didn't tell either of you before because I was sure neither of you would react too well and there was really no reason to tell you guys and upset you. But recent events" here she briefly glanced at Phoebe, "have changed my mind. So, I just told Phoebe a while ago and now I'm going to tell you."

"What old friend of yours could upset both Phoebe and me that you would not feel comfortable telling us about him? Oh, no," Paige started to shake her head as it occurred to her who it could be. "Please tell me it wasn't him. Anyone else but him, please."

"It was Cole, Paige. He was the old friend that helped me." Piper told her, nodding her head and confirming what to Paige was the worst possible news.

Paige kept shaking her head and exasperated said, "Jezz. Can't we get rid of him? I thought that the last time would be it. Well, at least this time you saw in him in another plane and he won't be coming here and I won't have to see him again." As soon as she finished saying this she noticed her sisters' face and then she remembered what Piper had said about recent events. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Paige asked, "What recent events are you talking about Piper?" Though the question was directed at Piper, Paige had not taken her eyes from Phoebe's face.

As Piper opened her mouth to answer her, Phoebe put her hand up in the stop sign and said, "No, Piper. You told her your part now it's up to me." She swallowed hard and forced her eyes to meet Paige's before she started talking. "Paige, you may have noticed that for the last few months – the last year really - I've been a bit distracted?" Phoebe asked Paige, thinking that she would work her way to the really big news.

"Yes, I've noticed. I've been meaning to ask you what's wrong, but with my new charges, especially Maxie, I haven't had time. But what does that have to do with Cole?"

"A lot, actually. You see, I've been thinking about everything that happened that led to Cole's death, "

Paige interrupted to say in a hard voice, "His vanquishings, you mean."

Phoebe barely paused, but she did repeat firmly "his death, Paige. I've been thinking about it all – a lot. And from the vantage point of more than two years later and with my head clear of all the pain and anger, I've been able to see things more clearly and a bit differently. Those things have led me to some conclusions. . . ."

"Jezz, Phoebe! You can't be serious! You can't mean to tell ..." Paige again interrupted her sister, this time in a louder voice.

Phoebe put her hand up again and said in a voice as loud and as firm as Paige, "Paige! Please let me finished. Afterwards, you can say whatever you feel you need to." She waited for Paige to nod her head before continuing. Paige did nod her head after a glance at Piper, who had stayed quietly by the Book watching the discussion, but she crossed her arms over her chest and her face got that closed, mutinous look it always got when she was hearing something she did not like.

Phoebe knew that was going to be as good as she would get, so she went on in her normal voice. "As I was saying, I came to some conclusion about those events." Phoebe ignored Paige's snort and went on. "You may not like hearing this, Paige, but both Piper and I think that we were very unfairto Cole. No, wait. We are not saying that he didn't do evil things or even that he didn't need to be stopped. He did do evil things and he did need to be stopped. But, Paige, doing evil things – no matter how bad they are – does not necessarily make a person evil, nor does it mean that you can't go back to being good; if that were true then a lot of people in this world would be evil, including the three of us and Leo. We've all done bad things that we've later regretted. But we've later repented and tried to correct our mistakes. Now, I know that things with Cole were different."

Phoebe saw Paige nod her head and mutter under her breath, "no kidding." But Phoebe once again ignored her. "The difference was that he was possessed by the source of all evil, Paige. He did not consciously or willingly do any of those things. He was an innocent we failed to protect, Paige."

"You have got to be kidding me! An innocent? Cole? Huh!" Paige couldn't stop herself from interrupting.

"Yes, Paige, an innocent. He did not ask the source to take over him nor did he welcome it. And I'm sure that he did everything he could to stop him, but he was only a human man after all and he didn't have enough power to stop him. And before you bring it up, yes I know that he was not possessed when he returned from the wasteland. And yes I know that he was out of control. But, the thing is Paige that I'm pretty sure the powers he had picked up in the wasteland drove him crazy. And my rejection of him did not help matters at all. That's another thing I realized these last few months, I'm as responsible for the whole fiasco as Cole was. He had given up being a demon, the only thing he knew how to be, to be with me. I had promised him to stand by him no matter what; but when it got really tough and he needed me the most I failed him."

Paige had kept her mutinous face for most of Phoebe's speech, but by the time Phoebe finished her face had changed to one of incredulity and disbelief. She could not believe Phoebe was blaming herself, she had done nothing wrong. It had all been Cole's fault. He had been the one to go nuts and started attacking innocent people. Not to mention that he had also gone after her, Paige thought to herself. "Phoebe, you can't be serious! You're not responsible for any of that mess. The responsibility belongs to Cole and Cole alone. You were an innocent, just like all the other innocent people he hurt during that time." Paige finally said when she was able to find her voice. "And anyway, I don't understand why you guys are talking about this now. It all happened years ago, it's in the past. And Phoebe has finally put it all behind her and has moved on. Why bring it all back up now?"

"But that's just it, Paige. I have not moved on, I have not put it all behind me. And I'm pretty sure that I'm never going to be able to move on." Phoebe started to explain, but once again Paige interrupted her.

"Sure, you have. Come on, Phoebe, I mean how many relationships have you been in since he was vanquished?" Paige was not going to say he died. "At least three, right? And I know you've said you were in love at least once if not more." Paige insisted. She was desperate to convince her sister she had moved on because she had a terrible feeling she knew where this was headed, and she wanted to avoid getting there at all costs.

Phoebe looked at her little sister and saw how desperate she was to deny what she saw was coming. Phoebe was really sorry that her decision would cause her youngest sister pain; but the only way to avoid that would be for Phoebe to keep living without her soul mate, and as much as she loved Paige that was something Phoebe was not prepared to do – she was not going to sacrifice the love of her life again, she'd done it once and had found that life without him was at best a half live and at worst it was barely worth living. 'No', Phoebe assured herself, 'Paige would get over it, she just has to.'

With a sad sigh and a shake of her head, Phoebe answered Paige. "Yes, Paige, I've been in a number of relationships since Cole _died_," just as Paige refused to say Cole had died, Phoebe refused to say he'd been vanquished. "But have you never asked yourself why none of them have worked out? I have and I've to conclusion that it was because, while I love all of them, I was never_ in_ love with any of them. And do you know why that was? Because," Phoebe pressed ignoring Paige's attempts to interrupt her once again. "I've already met the love of my life, my soul mate and no one else can ever come close to him. Yes, Paige, as much as you would like for me to deny it and as easier as my life would be, I'm still in love with Cole, I've always been and I'll always will." Phoebe said in a quiet but firm voice; so firm and sure that there was no doubting the truth of it. She then decided to go for broke before she lost her nerve. "That's why we are looking for ways to get in touch with him." Phoebe then took a big breath and said what would send her sister over the edge, "And if at all possible, how to bring him back."

Paige just looked at her sister as if Phoebe had just committed the ultimate betrayal. She could not understand how her sister could still claim to love and want to bring back that, that, half-demon. Not after everything that he'd done to them, to the innocents. He had betrayed them all; he had almost broken them up and destroyed them. He had gone crazy and altered reality, and in the process had destroyed Paige's life. 'How can she, after everything we went through choose him over us, _again?_' Paige thought to herself. Because that was what was hurting Paige, the thought that her sister was once again choosing the demon that destroyed Paige's live. Paige kept shaking her head and as she backed out of the attic she asked Phoebe in a voice that was as furious as it was hurt: "How could you, Phoebe? Again? How could you?" As she reached the attic doors, Paige turned and ran down the steps.

Phoebe took a big breath and turned to look at Piper who had kept her silence throughout the whole thing. Piper looked at her and with a half a smile said "Well, that could have been worse."

Phoebe snorted a half laugh and said, "You think? Oh, Piper. I don't want to hurt her. That's the last thing I want to do, hurt any of you. But I have to be true to myself, Piper. I can't go on like this. I love him; I can't keep on denying it. And I want him back, my life's been empty without him. If there is any way to bring back, I have to do it Piper. Please, tell me you understand? Please Piper; tell me at least one of my sisters will stand by me." Pleaded Phoebe, who was desperate for support from her older sister and who had already forgotten that she was supposed to be mad at her for keeping Cole's whereabouts from her for more than a year.

Piper sighed and thought about how empty her live had been when Leo was not a part of it. And she had had his sons to keep her occupied and busy, Phoebe had had nothing of her lost love and she had gone on without him for far longer than Piper ever had had to do without Leo. Piper shook her head and thought about all the problems that bringing Cole back would create; not only with Paige but with everyone else – it would not be easy to explain the return of someone who was supposed to be dead, not to mention how the elders would react if they ever figure out that the one who had been Balthazor had been resurrected. And could they even bringing him back? Piper was not sure, but she had a feeling that that would require the power of three; which would mean that they would have to find a way to convinced Paige to not only accept that Cole would be back in their lives but to actually help in bringing him back. That would not be easy; in fact it may be asking more than Paige will be able to do. But despite all the problems, the happiness of Phoebe was at stake and Piper knew she would do whatever she had to do to ensure that happiness. Because she knew that Phoebe had really not been doing so good without Cole. So, she said, "Yes, Phoebe, I understand. And of course, I'll stand by you, haven't I always? And once Paige calms down and has a chance to think things through, I'm sure she'll stand by you too. You wait and see." Piper finished, sounding more confident than she actually felt.

Phoebe looked at her sister and said, "I hope you are right, Piper. I really hope you are, because I have a feeling that to bring Cole back we'll need the power of three."

"Yeah, Pheebs, I have the same feeling." Piper sighed.


	7. Leo talks to Paige

Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be.

**AN: **Well, here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long, but my nephews came and stayed the weekend so I didn't have much time to work on it. Also this chapter was a bit harder to write than the others. Originally, this fic was just going to be about Phoebe coming to terms with her feelings for Cole and then bringing him back – two or three chapters. But as I started to write it, I found myself writing about Piper, and now Paige and Leo. But I didn't have a good handle on Paige or Leo for that matter, so it took me a while to figure out where I wanted to take them. Anyway, here it is, I hope you guys like. And just let me say it one more time: I stopped watching Charmed when I figured out that Cole was possessed so I'm not completely sure of the events or the timeline for that season that's why I'm using generalities, if there are mistakes let me know so I won't make them again.

Replies: Katbaby: thank you for you review. I'm usually visualizing the conversations when I'm writing so for you to tell me you could close your eyes and see it, it's about the best compliment you can give me. PhoenixPowered: I'm glad you're loving my story and don't worry I'll finish it, I'm even thinking of a sequel. Charmed1s-halliwells: don't worry Cole will be back next chapter. I hope you all like how I resolved Paige's feelings about bringing Cole back. I like Paige and I don't really like it when she's always fighting with him.

Chapter 7

Paige ran down the steps from the attic with one thought playing over and over on her head: 'how could she?' Paige simply could not understand how her sisters could be so ready to bring _him_ back after everything he did, everything he had put them through. She had been sure Phoebe had been over him and that she would not have to deal with him ever again. And now, after all this time, here she was talking about being in love with him – about having always being in love with him. And what's worst Piper seemed to agree with Phoebe that it'd be ok to bring him back. Paige shook her head feeling angry, hurt and left out, like what she thought didn't matter to her sisters.

Paige was so occupied with her own thoughts that she failed to notice Leo as he was leaving the boys' room after putting them for a nap. "Whoa," said Leo as he held onto her arms to keep them from falling, "where's the fire?"

But Paige was not in the mood for jokes. "Do you know what your wife and sister-in-law are doing up in the attic?" She asked waving her hand back and upwards towards the attic. "Of course you know. Piper tells you everything, doesn't she? I'm sure she would not have made that decision without telling _you _about it. I guess that it's just me that doesn't know what's going on around here; that I'm the last one to find out when something important happens, uh?"

"Uh, Paige? I have no idea what you're talking about here. Yeah, Piper tells most things; but I wouldn't say she tells me everything. I don't think that's possible. And you are not the last one to find important things, at least if you are its not intentional – it could be because you've been very busy lately. You know that your sisters would never intentionally keep anything important from you."

"I thought I knew that, but now I'm not sure. Oh Leo, how could they? I mean . . ." Paige ended with a shake of her head.

Leo, noticing that Paige was really upset and that she needed to talk, put his arm around her shoulders and steered her down the steps and towards the conservatory. "Come on, Paige. Let's go sit down and then you can tell me what's got you so upset."

Paige let herself he guided by Leo all the while shaking her head and sniffling as if she were trying to stopped herself from crying. When they got to the conservatory, Leo led Paige to the sofa and sat across from her.

"Ok, what's going on?" Leo asked, though he had a fairly good idea that what had put Paige in this state was Piper finally telling her and Phoebe about Cole being the one that had helped them connect a year ago. But then, Leo realized that there had to be more to it than that. Paige was way too upset for it to had just being Piper telling them; Leo would have sworn that Paige would have been mad about it, mostly about Piper having kept it from them for so long but this reaction was over the top. 'But what else could it be?' he asked himself, and then he remember that Piper was also going to try and talk to Phoebe about what was going on with her lately.

Both he and Piper had noticed how distracted Phoebe had been for the past few months. At first it had just seemed as if she had a lot on her mind, but then it was almost as if she were in mourning. She was still fulfilling all her duties as a columnist, sister, aunt and Charmed One; but that was precisely it: she was _fulfilling duties_. It was almost as if she took no real pleasure in anything anymore; as if her reason for living had gone and she was just making time doing what she had to do until she, too, could go. Piper, and if he was honest, Leo himself were getting really worried about Phoebe. Piper had told him a couple of days ago that this had gone on too long and that she was going to get to bottom of it, even if she had to force it out of Phoebe.

Piper had also told him that she thought Phoebe's problems had to do with Cole. Leo was not sure about that but he had to agree that Phoebe's behavior reminded him of how she had acted the other times that they had thought that Cole was dead. Now, Leo was getting the feeling that whatever had gotten Paige upset had to do with Phoebe and her weird behavior. Paige had said something about a decision, and while Leo didn't know what it was he was suddenly sure that he could probably guess what it was. But he decided to let Paige tell him about it.

"What's going on?" Paige asked. "What's going on is that I just found out that Piper had been keeping a pretty big secret from us – that the mysterious friend that had helped her connect to you last year was Cole. And as if having that, that demon contact Piper and her keeping it from us all this time was not enough, I also found out that what I think and what I want apparently does not matter much around here." Paige told Leo in a bitter and hurt voice.

"Paige, that is not true and you know it. Everyone's opinion matter, it's just that sometimes things had to be done that not everyone agrees with. That does not mean that your feelings or opinions don't matter. You know that, don't you?" Leo insisted until Paige somewhat reluctantly nodded her head. "Now, what don't you tell me what decision has been made that you don't agree with?" asked Leo.

"Well, it seems that miss Phoebe has recently realized that despite everything that her demon ex did to us she still loves him and apparently always will. She's also decided that everything that went on back then is somehow or another as much her responsibility as his and that he didn't act of his own free will but was instead first possessed by the source and then he was insane; and in her view that made him an innocent that we fail to protect. She's also determined that, since she's still in love with him and since he's basically blameless of what went on back then, it'd be a good idea to get in touch with him and if at all possible bring him back." Paige angrily and disdainfully told Leo.

Leo, for his part, listened to her patiently and at the end found that he was not as surprise as he maybe ought to have been. In fact all he could think was: 'I guess Piper was right and it _was_ about Cole after all."

Paige noticed that Leo was not at all surprise and took that to me that he had been known about the decision and that he agreed with it. "_Leo_, not you too! How can you agree with them? Don't you guys remember the hell we went through back then? Am I the only that thinks this is a totally crazy and completely dangerous idea? He's a demon, for God's sake! How can you guys think it's a good idea to bring him back? I mean if we are going to try and bring back someone than should we try and bring someone worthy, like Prue?" demanded a frustrated Paige.

"It doesn't really work that way. Prue is dead and she can't be brought back, at least not by you guys." Explained Leo.

"And Cole can be brought back? How is that fair?" exploded Paige.

"It's different with Cole, didn't Piper explained? Cole, unlike Prue, has not really moved on. Yes, he is dead but he's stuck in limbo. As such it is possible, at least theoretically, to bring him back." Leo, who had been in charge of Magic School for the past year, explained.

Paige thought about that for a minute until she realized she really didn't care. "Leo, I'm not in the mood for a dammed magic lesson right now! We're talking about Cole here. Cole, Leo, the guy who used to be the source and who tried to kill you wife when she pregnant with your first child, remember?" asked Paige who was seriously starting to wonder whether her whole family had gone insane.

"Yes, Paige I remember who Cole was and what he did. But, after thinking about this for a really long time I have to agree with Phoebe, he wasn't himself when he did those things." Leo answered her patiently.

"And that excuses it? That makes it all right?" demanded Paige.

"Well, maybe it doesn't excuse it or make it all right but it does make it, I don't know, easier to accept." Leo tried to explain something he hadn't ever verbalized. "Look Paige, we've all at one time or other gone bad, done things we've later regretted and wished we could undo. We've even had incarnations where we were evil. And, after the whole mess with the avatars and how willing Piper was to let me come back and losing my wings, I have a better understanding of what Cole went trough. It is not easy to stop being a magical being, to let go of the only life you've know for decades – and I was only a whitelighter for some 60 odd year, after having being born a mortal. Cole was a demon for over 120 years and he was born a demon; being a demon was all he knew. And yet, he gave it all up for Phoebe, because he loved her. I can't even image how hard that must have been for him. The temptation to go back to evil must have been overwhelming but yet he resisted until circumstances outside his control took over." Leo paused to take a breath before continuing.

"Paige, I know what it is to loose your way, to feel like you're in danger of loosing everything you love and because of that choose a path you would never have chosen otherwise. Thankfully the people I love stood by me and I was able to right most of my mistakes. Cole didn't have that chance and maybe now . . ." Leo was not able to finish his thought because Paige interrupted.

"Oh, come on Leo! How can you even compare the two? You joined the avatars because you wanted to create utopia. Cole altered reality and created hell just to be married to Phoebe and they weren't even happy. I just don't get why you guys are so ready to think that it wasn't really him that was responsible for that whole mess."

"I'm not sure what else I can tell you Paige. But I think you're exaggerating a bit; it's not like we thought or believed all this as soon as he was gone. It took us, what? three years to get to this point. It wasn't easy. I don't know how Phoebe got here, but I can tell you that for Piper and me it was long talks, a lot of soul searching and remembering everything that Cole had done for us."

"What has he ever done for us?" Paige asked in an incredulous voice.

"A lot, Paige. If it wasn't for him we'd all be death a few times over." Leo sighed and said in a hesitant voice, as is he was unsure of what he was going to say or maybe of how to say it. "Maybe we are more willing to believe that it wasn't his fault because we've known him longer. Remember we'd known him for over a year before we met you; we've went through a lot in that year – he helped us numerous times and like I said he saved our lives in more than one occasion."

Paige snorted and in an annoyed voice said, "So what? He's more important than me because you've known him longer, because supposedly he's the love of Phoebe's life?" Paige asked with a mocking, angry tone in her voice.

Leo stared at her a while a new reason for Paige's behavior and her antipathy of Cole occurred to him. "What is this really about, Paige?" Leo asked her after a few moments, following his instinct.

"What do you mean what is this about? This is about you guys thinking Cole was not responsible for everything that happened back then."

"No, I don't think it is." Leo said slowly trying to feel his way through his new realization. "Paige have you ever been in love? I mean really in love? Have you ever thought you've met the love of your life, your soul mate, the person you'd do anything to be with – give up everything to be with?"

"What does that have to do with what we're talking about here?"

"A lot because what we're talking about here is love - the love that Phoebe and Cole feel for each other. Sure, they've made many mistakes but all of them were because they loved each other; really loved each other – they're each other's soul mate. And if you've never felt that kind of love then maybe you can't understand. And maybe this is not really about Cole after all."

"Oh, no? Then what do you think it is about?"

"About you, your wants and how you feel about your sisters' love life."

Paige, who had been pacing for a while, turned to look at Leo and a bit uncomfortably and said, "I really have no idea what you're talking about, Leo."

Leo studied her for a few minutes while she shifted her weight from foot to foot, and then he said, "It's alright, you know? It's normal to feel a bit of jealousy when you see someone else having what you want. As long as you don't wish that person harm, do anything to hurt that person or want what that person actually has there's nothing wrong with it."

Paige was looking at him like he was crazy. "Do you actually think that I want _Cole_ or anyone remotely like him? Are you crazy?"

"No, I don't think you want Cole or me for that matter but I do think that you want what your sisters have: someone that loves them unconditionally. I think that you want to be love by someone that would give everything up and would fight everyone just to be with you because you are the most important thing in the world to him. There's nothing wrong with wanting that Paige. In fact you deserve to be love like that; and I'm sure one day you'll be love like that."

"Leo if all that were true then don't you think that I'd resent you and Piper being together too?" Paige asked with a face that clearly said she thought Leo had gone totally crazy.

"No I don't, because I was, for lack of a better word, an angel. I was and I am on the side of good, I was here to help and you couldn't resent me or find me wanting because your inherent goodness wouldn't have let you. Even when the whole mess with the avatars happened, you knew that I was still good. Cole, on the other hand, was a half demon who had lived his whole life as a demon; it's much easier to say he's no good and he'll never be any good than to have to confront feelings you've probably buried very deep and don't even want to acknowledge. And I'm not saying that he didn't do terrible things or that you were wrong in trying to stop him or even that having him back will be easy –we all have issues that will have to be dealt with. What I am saying is that you should really think about why you don't want him to come back, about all he did for this family before the whole source mess, about whether you really - in your heart - still think that he was responsible for that mess. Finally I think that you should think about what refusing to help your sisters bring him back would mean to Phoebe, not only to your relationship with her, but what it would mean to her life and her future. Are you really prepared to be the one that denies your sister her chance to be happy with the love of her life?"

Leo knew that he was being harsh with his last question, but he wanted to get her thinking about what it would mean if she kept refusing to even talk about bringing Cole back. He looked at her for a moment longer and when he saw that he seemed to have gotten through to her, he got up from his seat and turned to leave the conservatory.

"Leo" Paige called softly as Leo reached the doorway.

Leo stopped and turned his head to look at Paige and waited to see what it was she wanted.

"Why? I mean" she started to clarified as she saw the questioning look in Leo's face. "I guess I can understand, sort of, why Phoebe would want to bring Cole back. But why are you and Piper so willing to bring him back into our lives?" She asked genuinely puzzled.

Leo saw that this time Paige really was just looking for an answer; that she seemed to really want to try and understand why it was that they were so willing to bring back someone that in her mind was evil. He turned to fully face her and took a few minutes to think about how to best answer her. He thought about his life as a whiteligther before he met Piper; about how lonely he'd been despite the many charges he'd had. He thought about how his life had changed after he'd met and fallen in love with Piper, about how his life was now complete and how happy he was despite the problems that they had. And he thought about how much Phoebe loved Cole and how much Cole loved Phoebe; about how most if not all that had gone wrong with Cole that last year was because Cole really loved Phoebe. And he thought about all the trouble that knowing Cole had brought them – from petty sisterly fights to big magical problems. And he thought of all the family moments they have shared with Cole – from his and Piper's wedding to Prue's funeral. And he thought of how Cole had had as much to do with shaping the Charmed Ones into the witches they were today as he and the girls.

He thought of all this and he thought of how to tell Paige all of it in a way that she'd understand it. In the end all he said was: "I guess it's because, at the end of the day, he's a big part of why I'm standing here today and why Piper and I are still together; and because, despite it all, he's family." Leo looked into Paige's eyes a few moments longer to make sure she had the message, he then turned and went up to the attic to see what Piper and Phoebe were up to.

Paige sat back down, laid her head on the sofa's back and closed her eyes. 'Leo is crazy' she thought. 'Isn't he?' She brought her hands up and started massaging her temples. 'Of course he's crazy. I'm not jealous of my sisters' love life. The only reason why I don't want Cole to be back is because he's evil. Just look at everything he did before we were finally able to vanquish him.' But just as she was starting to feel confident that her motives were pure, her innate honesty made her take a harder look at her motives and at the events surrounding Cole's death. Slowly, almost against her will, she also started to remember the days before Cole took the Hollow and the reasons why he did it.

After a long while, Paige opened her eyes and muttered, "Damn, he's not crazy." It galled her to admit it, even to herself, but it seemed that Cole had not been responsible for his actions – the source _had_ really taken him over. As for how he acted after he came back from the wasteland, Paige supposed that Phoebe might have a point. She _had_ rejected him and that rejection, given that he had given everything up to be with her, combined with the all the powers that he had picked up, which his body had not been able to handle, had driven him insane. So, if Cole was not really evil and he had not been a willing participant in that whole mess the only reason for her to object to bringing him back was that she was jealous. Paige took a big breath and decided that that was not a good enough reason to deny her sister the love of her life. Sure there might be one or two problems when Cole got back - funny how she had no doubts that if the Charmed Ones wanted to bring him back they _would_ bring him back – back they could deal with it. Now that she'd accepted that he was not responsible for all the hell she went through that year, Paige was sure that she could have an amiable relationship with Cole maybe not as close as the one she had with Leo but then again that may come with time. The important thing was that she would stand by her sister and would do anything in her power to make sure that she was happy. And maybe, if she was really lucky, one day she would meet a man that would love her as much as Leo and Cole loved Piper and Phoebe, one who would be willing to give up everything for her – she just hope that her road to true love would be a bit smoother and a lot less dangerous than the ones her sisters traveled. With that hope in mind, Paige got up from the sofa and went to join her sisters in the attic to help them research how to bring Cole back.


	8. What Cole thinks

Despite it all, it's still you - it always was, it always will be

Chapter 8

Paige entered the attic and saw that Piper and Leo were flipping through the Book and that Phoebe, sitting on the old sofa, was going through one of the many magic books that were around her. Phoebe was saying, "I keep telling you, there's nothing on the Book. I've already been through it at least 3 times. Don't you think I would have found it if there was something there?" without raising her eyes.

"And I keep telling _you_ it is entirely possible that you did miss it if there's something here. You didn't know that he was in limbo, Phoebe – that probably makes a difference. How many times do _I _have to say that?" Piper answered without raising her eyes.

"Piper's right, Phoebe; him being in limbo might very well make a difference. You can't afford to overlook it, if you really want him back." Leo agreed with his wife, he, too, didn't raise his eyes from what he was reading.

"Ok, check it if you want. But I'm sure there's nothing there. I would remember if I had seen something about limbo." Phoebe replied in a tone that made it clear this was not the first time they've argued the point.

Leo finally raised his head to tell Phoebe something when he saw that Paige was standing right inside the attic's door. "Paige" he said in a soft voice that was nevertheless heard by both Piper and Phoebe, who immediately jerked their heads up. Phoebe's face as she looked at Paige was a picture of anxiety with a hint of fear, while Piper's was a mixture of sympathy, compassion and interest.

For a few moments there was complete silence in the attic as Piper, Phoebe and Leo looked at Paige and Paige, after a brief glance at Piper and Leo, kept her eyes on Phoebe's face. Paige's nervousness was apparent as she kept shifting her weight from foot to foot and wringing her hands.

Finally after clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders she said, still keeping her eyes on Phoebe, "I'm sorry, Pheebs. I guess that the memory of that year can still make me a bit nuts; it was just so hard Phoebe and the idea of seeing Cole again . . ." she shook her head before continuing "it just overwhelmed me, I guess. And" here she hesitated for a while as she turned her head to look at Leo, who nodded his head encouragingly "I supposed, deep down I was also a bit jealous, not of you and Cole" she hastened to add as she saw the frown begin on Phoebe's face. "but of the _fact_ of you and him. It's just hard being the only sister that is not in love, the only one that doesn't have this great love of her life giving it all up for her, you know? But, I swear to you Phoebe that it was all subconscious; no way would I knowingly stand in the way of your happiness." Paige finished with a little sniff as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

Both Piper and Phoebe rushed to their sister's side and hugged. "We know, honey, we know. Don't worry about it. The important thing is that you are here now." Piper told her.

"Yes, Paige. I guess it can get to you if you are the only one not in love and everyone else is going on about their love lives. But, like Piper said, what's important is that you are here now. You will stand by me won't you, Paige?"

"Yes, of course Phoebe."

"Thanks honey. I've been thinking that bringing Cole back will affect all of us not just me. So," Phoebe stepped back from Paige a bit so that she could look at all three of them "I think that it would be a good idea if we just called him first and we all talk to him. Because Paige is right, that year was hard and we all have issues that should have been dealt with and but that haven't been because without Cole here there didn't seem to be much point, but now that he'll be back . . ." Phoebe trailed off looking at her family. This was not easy for her, once again she felt trapped between her family and her love. All her earlier determination not to put Cole second again, while still there, was being balance with her need to protect her family. Sometimes Phoebe felt like that was a battle she would never win.

"Oh, Phoebe, you don't know how much that means to me, thank you for thinking of my" Paige stopped to glance at Leo and Piper and amended "our feelings but its not necessary. Yes, there are issues that have to be deal with, but we'll do it when Cole is here. I trust you and I think you are right - it wasn't him that made all that happened. The best thing is just to let time do its thing, you know. To let us all get use to having him around again – after a while it'll be like he never left. We'll all be fine, don't worry." Paige told Phoebe as she patted her arm to let her know she really was fine.

Phoebe turned to look at Piper and Leo to see what they thought and found them smiling and nodding their heads. And Piper told her, "I told you she'd come around, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did" Phoebe answered with a smile as she hugged her two sisters. "Now, let's get to work."

Leo, seeing the sisters embrace, was glad that he had been able to help them. The last year had not been an easy one for the ex-whitelighter. While he loved being a husband to Piper and a father to his boys, it had not been easy to adjust to live as a mortal. As he had told Paige, it was not easy to stopped being magical – especially when living in a magical household. The hardest part had been not being able to heal the girls when they were hurt. Though his job at magical school was fulfilling and he knew he was making a difference, sometimes he still felt like he wasn't contributing enough at home. That's why these moments, when it was clear he _was_ helping his family, were so important to him.

As he thought of magic school, he remembered something that might help the present situation. "Phoebe, you've always said that Cole was your soul mate."

"Yes." Phoebe answered, wondering where Leo was going.

"Are you sure? I mean, do you mean that literally? Like he's the other half of your soul and not just as an expression?

"I mean it literally. I feel complete when I'm with him; I've never felt like that with anyone else."

"Phoebe, are you sure?"

"_Yes_, Leo. I'm sure, why?"

"Because I just remember that the other day as I was going through some of the books at magic school, I came across a spell to found a lost soul mate. But it only works to call your true soul mate. Of course, first you have to _have_ a soul mate – not everyone has one, you know? It's amazing really. . ."

"Leo, I'm sure he's my soul mate. So, would you please go get it?" Phoebe quickly asked before he got started in one of the magical lectures he's gotten into the habit of giving lately.

Leo grinned and left to go to magic school, while the girls went back to researching.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Cole, who had watched the whole thing, could not believe it. He would have pinched himself to see if he was awake if it had been possible to fall asleep in limbo and for a while there he had even been afraid that he had been hallucinating – but that too was impossible in this plane he found himself in. He just couldn't understand how it was that suddenly the Halliwells had decided to try and bring him back; not after everything that happened, everything he did to them and everything they did to vanquish him.

'Ok,' he thought to himself, 'I did help Piper last year and maybe that soften her towards me a bit. But I didn't do it solely for her benefit, heck not even primarily for her and Leo's benefit – I had an ulterior motive and Piper knew that. But since it was to help Phoebe move on maybe that's why.'

Phoebe. Cole shook his head to clear it of thoughts of his ex-wife. He did not want to think of her, at least not yet. He turned his thoughts to her youngest sister instead.

Paige, now her reaction he could understand. Well, her initial reaction at least. After everything that Cole put her through back then, it is completely understandable that she would not trust his motives or want him back. Of the three sisters, Paige had been the only one to first suspect that there was anything wrong with him. But neither Piper nor Phoebe had wanted to listen to her. At first they had ignored her warnings, telling her there was nothing wrong and that she was overreacting. And then when it came out that Cole was the source, Phoebe had insisted that they could deal with it. It was one of destiny's ironies that if they had listened to Paige from the beginning, the whole fiasco might have been avoided; and Cole might have been saved.

But they had not listened. It might had have something to do with the fact that Paige had joined the family less than a year before and as such the complete trust, respect and love that was what had made the bond between the three original Charmed Ones so strong (regardless of how many fights they had) had not yet extended to include Paige. Thus, Piper and Phoebe had not been as receptive to Paige's feelings or instincts as they would have been to each other's or Prue's. Paige had surely felt this and known that her opinions did not matter as much as her sisters' because she was the new kid in the block. That had led to feelings of resentment and isolation; feelings that Cole as the source had exploited to widen the distance between Paige and her new sisters. The fact that Cole as the source had exploited the new and fragile relationship that had existed between Paige and her sisters, at a time when Paige was at her most vulnerable (being in a completely new and scary situation) was at the core of Paige's antipathy towards him. That had only been reinforced when Cole altered reality to prevent Paige from ever finding her sisters. The extent to which life had changed was only remembered by Paige, as she was the only one outside the change. As such Paige had twice as many reasons for not trusting him as her sisters.

Piper's and Phoebe's refusal to listen to Paige might have also been due to the fact that for the first time since they receive their powers, the sisters felt that they could go back to having a 'normal' life – or as normal as it is possible for a witch to have. They had just defeated the source of all evil – an incredible feat. They had not wanted to hear that he may have not been completely gone. Both were happily married and expecting their first child; the only thing they wanted to do was enjoy their lives and their marriages during what was supposed to be some of the happiest days of their lives. Neither wanted to admit that they battle may not be over; especially when it meant that Phoebe's husband would be in the middle of it fighting for the other side. Phoebe, especially, had ignored Paige until she could not longer afford to do so – all because of the love she felt for her husband.

It was perfectly reasonable, then, that Paige would blame Cole not only for the evil things he did during those times but also for the distance that existed between the sisters and for the harder road they had to traveled to became the united front they were today – a road that might have been a lot smoother if it had not being for Cole. He understood that and he respected it. It was her sudden change of heart that had Cole completely baffled. He could not understand what could have happened that would have resulted in such a change. Whatever it had been, he was sure Leo had something to do with it. He had not failed to notice the quick glances that Paige had given the ex-whitelighter as she was talking to her sisters – nor the encouraging nods that Leo had given her back. Cole supposed he could have followed Paige when he had left the attic after her confrontation with her sisters. But he usually stayed closed to Phoebe whenever he was in 'visiting'. He only followed other members of the family when he knew or suspected that something big might be happening. But he had had not reason to suspect that anything out of the ordinary would happen. He would have definitely followed her if he thought her conversation with Leo would have such an impact on his fate. Now he would probably wondered forever what they had talked about and why it had changed Paige's mind.

That thought led to Leo and _his_ reaction; something else he didn't fully understand – not that he had understood much of anything today, then again he had never fully understood the Halliwells; and he thought that that might have been a very good thing. But Leo at least had been fairly consistent in the past. He had never fully trusted Cole, which was not surprising as Leo had been as close as one could get to being the living embodiment of good while Cole was as close as you could get to being the living embodiment of evil. (Actually now that he thought about it, for a while there, while he'd been inhabited by the source Cole _had_ been the living embodiment of evil.) And Leo as a good soldier for good had done everything in his power to help the sister's defeat and vanquish him. Whatever feelings of friendship that might have developed between the two as Cole fought evil alongside the sisters, evaporated as soon as it became clear that Cole was the source. As a disciple of good, Leo could have done nothing else – that was something else that Cole finally understood.

But then, Leo is no longer the poster child for good anymore, is he? In fact, from what Cole had observed, Leo has lost his powers and was no longer a whitelighter but a mortal. And maybe that was the reason for his change of heart. Leo now knew, better than anyone else probably could, what it was like to stopped being magical after decades of knowing nothing else – it's like loosing your legs or one of your senses, it leaves you feeling as if you're lacking an integral part of yourself. It is not something easy to overcome; especially for demons who are not used to self-sacrifice. That maybe be the reason why Leo has made it while Cole failed, as an ex-angel Leo knew all about sacrifice and about controlling your worst impulses, something Cole had never quite manage to learn. This new and personal insight into what it is to suddenly find oneself mortal, might be the reason Leo is suddenly sympathetic towards him. But Cole couldn't help sardonically think that the fact that Cole had helped Piper connect to Leo a year earlier and thus ensure that they remain together had a lot to do with it too.

And that led him back to her, since helping Leo and Piper stay together had only been a means to help her. Then again, it seems as if most everything always led back to her.

To Phoebe. He shook his head when he thought of the love of his life, wondering how things could have gone so wrong when the love they felt was so right. But gone wrong they did. So wrong, that she ended up vanquishing him – not once but twice. Cole had spent most of the time since the last vanquishing observing her from limbo. He had noticed that while she had not given up dating and had appeared to fall in love a time or two, her faith in love had ultimately not survived all the hell he put had put her through. As he still, and would probably always, love her and the only thing he had ever wanted to do was make her happy, even if he had gone about it all wrong, he had as a last resort engineered the events of last year. But he had never expected this result. He knew that they were soul mates, but after everything they've gone though he had been sure she would want nothing to do with. He had seen the episode with his sweater and the pictures a few weeks after Piper's brush with death, but he had assumed that it was only a precursor to her dealing with not only his death but also the death of their love – something he'd noticed she had never done. But instead of getting better afterwards, she seemed to deteriorate right before his eyes and there had been nothing he could; he didn't even really understand what the problem was - only that it had to do with him. And as he had no idea how to help her and seeing her in such pain hurt him too, he had gone. He had only come back every few weeks to see if she was better, but she never was and he always left again. And that was why he was so surprise at this turn of events; he had never expected this.

Ok, he had fantasized for a minute or two that she still loved him and would find a way to bring him back, but it had only been for a minute or two and never seriously. It had simply been a fantasy that he knew would never come true. The most he had realistically hoped for was that she would find it in her heart to forgive him for everything he'd done, all the pain he'd caused her and her family. To hear her say that he had not been responsible for the events because the source had taken him over was beyond his wildest dreams. To hear her say that she was also partly responsible for that whole mess, that she was sorry and that she still loved him and wanted him back was so out there as to be unbelievable.

Hearing her tell Piper about how much she love him and miss him had been a dream come true and for a while (when he was not thinking he was asleep or hallucinating) he had wondered whether he had crossed over and was in heaven. But seeing Paige's reaction had convinced him that he was still in limbo and what he was observing was real. Seeing Piper's reaction, on the other hand, had almost been enough to convince him that he was in heaven as he could never have imagined that _Piper_ of all people would support Phoebe's decision to bring him back.

And that brought him full circle. Because as long as he'd known the Halliwells, he'd never understood them and having observed from afar from the past few years had not helped any. Nor had all the soul searching he'd done. He just did not understand how they thought. He understood some things, but on the whole he was basically lost. It didn't matter how much time he devoted to each person's actions, he always ended up confused. And it was not because they were women since Leo's actions were quite often as inscrutable as that of the girls.

When one was in limbo, the only thing one could do was watch what went on in the realm of the living and/or think about all the mistakes one has made in one's life that had led to limbo. As much as he'd watched Phoebe and the Charmed Ones, Cole had also spent a large amount of time thinking about his life and everything that had led him here. He's come to finally realized all his faults and mistakes and he'd concluded that he needs to pay for them. As painful as it sometimes may get, he was finally at peace with himself because he was paying the debts he'd incurred as Belthazor, as the source and as an avatar. He's come to terms with his fate and he had been sure that Phoebe was also happy or at least glad that he was out of her life for good. But now, hearing the Charmed ones and Leo speak about bringing back, despite the past, left Cole completely bewildered. He did not know what to think or feel – aside from being glad Phoebe still loved him. He only knew that he had a debt to pay and that he actually wanted to pay it, even if it took him all eternity.

It didn't occur to him what a change that was; how come he had come from the demonic life he had led when he first met the Charmed ones. He might not yet fully understand what it was that it made it possible for the Charmed ones to forgive him and want him back. But deep inside he already knew the answer: love; the love Phoebe had for him and the love her sisters and Leo had for her made it possible for them to forgive him. And even if Cole thought he didn't understand it, he was already capable of the same behavior. He had forgiven and was ready to forgive Phoebe anything because he loved her. And it had been that love that had saved his soul. It had been that love that had enabled him to stop in limbo and repent for his sins; it had been that love that made it possible for him to want to pay for those sins. And it will be that love that will make it possible for Cole and Phoebe to reunite.

**AN:** I'm really sorry that it has taken this long to update but I had a nasty cold last week and I think my muse either got it from me or she was keeping her distance so she wouldn't get it as I was distinctly uninspired last week. Also, this chapter deals primarily with Cole's feelings and I wasn't sure how I was going to go about it. When I first thought of this story I had just thought about Phoebe's feelings and maybe the sisters with Cole just coming in at the end, but as I was writing the whole think took a life of its own and now I find that I just had to write the perspective of every characters. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it. One last thing, as I said before I'm not really good with the details of what went on in the show after Cole got taken over by the source. Could someone please tell me how much time has past since he was vanquish and now – now being the story, about a year after Seven Year Witch? I'd really appreciate it, THANKS!

A great thanks to everyone that has review, I hope you guys keep on enjoying this story. And I think I will make a sequel but no promises on when it will be posted, except to say that I will try not to take too long as I know how bothersome it can be to wait.


	9. Finally, Phoebe and Cole talk

Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be..

**AN:** First I want to apologize to you guys, specially everyone that has followed the story and review every chapter, for having taking so long in updating. I really don't know what to say; nothing crazy has been going on in my life - I just, I don't know, was disappointed with the direction the shows taken (not what I wanted at all)and its taking me a while to get back into the swing of things.

Second, this may not be the best place for this, but after hearing the news all day, I just wanted to let the readers and writers from the UK (some of whom have written some of my favorite stories) that all my thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

Chapter 9

Cole was still pondering the mystery of the Halliwells' behavior when Leo came back from Magic School. He couldn't believe that they were actually going to try and bring him back. He was bemused, confused, scared, hopeful – he wasn't sure what he was feeling; he was a mass of emotions and he couldn't really tell one from the other. He wanted to be able to talk with Phoebe once more, but at the same time thought that that would only make their inevitable parting that much harder.

As Cole looked, the sisters got everything ready to read the spell that would allow him to cross the boundaries between limbo and the realm of the living. As the sisters finished the spell, Cole began to feel as if he was being dragged through the different realms. It was very disorienting, feeling as though you're dragged forward against your will, and yet not moving an inch from your current position.

As suddenly as it began, the feeling ended. And the only indication that the spell had worked were the stunned faces of the sisters and Leo. For a few seconds no one moved, until finally Leo seemed to snap out of it and with a nod at Cole, which wasn't returned since Cole only had eyes for Phoebe, Leo turned and started to leave the room. Leo was not as surprised as the sisters were that the spell had worked. Somehow, he'd always known that those two were soul mates. He may not have always wanted to believe, he had in fact gone to great lengths to deny it once or twice, but the truth can not be hidden away forever. And the truth of the matter was that since his own encounter with his dark side, Leo was far more tolerant and forgiving of other people's mistakes. Granted Cole's mistakes had been beauties, but Leo was no one to judge. So, he was far more open to leaving Phoebe along with Cole.

Piper, on the other hand, was not quite as ready for it as her husband. Not because she was against it, she just had not really recovered from the shock of seeing Cole again yet. She knew Phoebe had always said that they were soul mates, but Piper had not really taken her seriously. There was no denying that Phoebe and Cole loved each other; but the idea that they were soul mates had seemed a little extreme. She should have known better, she had her soul mate, she knew it was possible; so why should she have doubted that her sister had also found her soul mate? She guessed it might have had something to do with the fact that said soul mate was a demon, and a high ranking one that had been sent to kill them and had come closer than most anybody else. Yeah, that would certainly account for Piper's lack of faith; and she supposed no one could really blame her. But, that was all in the past now and she only wanted her sister to be happy once again. And if her happiness depended on Cole being there, then she guessed that Cole had better be there. She certainly was not going to oppose it. Cole had done a lot for the sisters and it seemed like he had paid for his mistakes. She silently snorted at calling the evil deeds Cole had done 'mistakes', but decided to leave at that; after all everything she had said to Phoebe still held and there was no use in dwelling on thingsthat were best left in the past. She came out of her reverie to see that Leo was waiting for them at the doorway to the attic and she turned to Paige to see what was keeping her.

Paige was also looking at Phoebe and Cole lost in her own thoughts. She was a bit surprised by how easy that had been; they had barely finished the spell and Cole was before them.She was also surprised by her own reaction to Cole's presence; not at the fact that Phoebe was right and that she and Cole are soul mates - that hadn't really surprise her, not really. If she thought about it, it only made sense. She remembered everything both of them had done for the other and to be with each other; Phoebe had defied her heritage and gone to live in the underworld to be with him and he had literally changed the world for her - ok, he had taken the definition of stalker and obsession to whole new levels, but that does not negate the fact that he loves her.

No, what had really surprised her was how little she was bothered by his presence. After everything he had put her through, she had been sure that seeing him again would have been akin to seeing the devil himself and she would have had to fight her instinct to attack and kill him; instead, it had been like seeing a long lost relative. She had heard both Piper and Leo say that Cole is still family despite it all and she had believe them, she just had not thought that she would feel the same way – certainly not until at least quite some time had gone by and she had done a lot of work to feel that way. But here she was, less than five minutes after he's back, and she couldn't think of a single scathing, contemptuous, hateful thing to say – not that she would have said them, she just thought those kind of thoughts would have been automatic. Maybe deep down, and in spite of everything, she too considered him family. 'Uh, how's _that_ for messed up?' she thought to herself. But it did make sense, she grudgingly admited. He had come as part of the package when she had joined the family, after all. It had been Piper and Leo and Phoebe and Cole, they had made up the family – her new family. And even if subsequent events had threatened to tear that family apart, had actually tear it apart for a while, the fact remained that those four, plus the two new additions, are still her family. She shook her head slightly and with a mild smirk thought to herself that this revelation will definitely make her life easier for the next little while. She came out of her thoughts to find that both Piper and Leo were waiting for her. She turned to see Phoebe and Cole once more before she left, but found that they only had eyes for each other and that the rest of the world might as well had disappeared.

Phoebe was not as unaware of the world around her as she appeared, she did notice when her sisters and Leo left the attic closing the door behind them. It was just that most of her attention was on Cole; it had been so long since she had seen him that she could not stop her eyes from devouring him. She wanted to reach out and touch him but knew that that was not possible. He was there, yes, but he was there as a spirit regardless of how 'substantial' he looked. The spell had been to call for your lost soul mate, and if he had been in the same realm as Phoebe all that would have happened, according to Leo, was that both would have received signs that would lead them to each other. Much like what had happened when Piper had cast the lost with spell that had led to Paige finding them and what had happened the time that Phoebe had cast that spell to help Piper figured out who she should choose: Dan or Leo – that time it had been clues that had led Piper and Phoebe to where Prue was being held hostage. But since Cole was in limbo no clues would have led Phoebe there and instead he, or rather a manifestation of his spirit, had been brought to her – at least that was how Leo had explained it and since he was their resident expert on all things magical, she supposed he knew what he was talking about. Either way, Phoebe wanted nothing more in that moment than to hug Cole but couldn't because he was a spirit.

Cole for his part was also devouring Phoebe with his eyes. True he had not gone as long without seeing her, but it was somehow different knowing that she could also see him – and besides when had he ever passed on a chance to stare at Phoebe? She was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. But this staring at each other could not go on indefinitely; someone was going to have to start them talking and it might as well be him, especially now that her sisters and Leo had left. With that in mind, he decided to speak, "Hi, how are you, Phoebe?"

Phoebe jumped a bit at the sound of his voice, but recovered fairly quick and answered, "Fine and you?"

And then she realized how absurd that was. She had not seen him for over three years and they had just used the spell that pretty much confirms that they are soul mates and the only thing either of them can say is 'how are you?' They can do better than that, they better do better than that because Phoebe had no intention of letting this encounter deteriorate into an awkward one. This is where they put all their cards on the table, deal with all their issues and resolved to move on from here – TOGETHER, as they should always be. She had not just gone through all the drama with her sisters to get them to help her and accept him back just to have it all fall apart now.

With that thought in mind, Phoebe took a big breath and said thefour little words that every man on the face of earth fear to hear: "we have to talk."

Cole could see all the emotions that Phoebe felt on her face and he knew the exact moment when she made a decision.

Her shoulders strengthen, her chin came up and her eyes took on that look that meant she had decided something and no one better stop her – it's a look that have been the precursor to the death of quite a few demons. It's a look that usually warms other to steer clear off her path; unfortunately for Cole, getting out of her way is not an option – not only because he can't go anywhere since he'd been summoned but because _he _is at the root of her decision. So, he decided that he may as well confront this like a man. He sighed, run his fingers through his hair, and told her, "Yes, Phoebe we do."

"Don't look at me like that, Cole. I didn't call you here to fight. I just think it's about time for us to have a real discussion, like we should have had years ago but never had."

It was on the tip of Cole's tongue to say that he had been all for having a discussion after he came back from the wastelandand thatit was her that wouldn't have anything to do with him. But he figured it'd be better if he just let the past in the past, nothing would be gained from going re-hashing old arguments. So, instead he just said "Ok, Phoebe, let's talk. But before we do, can we just agree that after we're done you'll let me go and won't try to contact me again? And please, do you think that you can try and move on with your life? I really want you to be happy again, Phoebe."

As she listened to Cole, Phoebe's eyes grew progressively larger and her mouth hanged open. She just could not believe what she was hearing. It took her a few moments before she got her wits together enough to respond. And even then she sputtered a few seconds before a coherent word came out. "WHAT?" Ok, it came out more as a scream than anything else, but really given the shock she'd just received it was perfectly understandable. "I can not believe you just said that, Cole Turner. Have you lost whatever was left of your ever loving mind? What do you think this is all about, uh? You think I just called you here to let you go again, just like that? Do you think it's that easy? For that matter if moving on with my life and finding real love again was as easy as you make it sound, then I would have had no reason to call you back! I would just have met someone, fallen in love, gotten married and have kids – all without giving YOU a second thought! Don't you think if I could have done that, I would have done it already! It would have made my life, not to mention my sisters lives, that much easier and enjoyable, let me tell you. But NO, here I am, stuck with you for a soul mate! So, no, moving on with my life is not that real a possibility for me, Cole! God, how can you be so dense? You're the love of my life, my soul mate, there is no other for me – NONE. It's either you or no one, because I refused to settle for second best. I rather have no one than to have a simile of the real thing. So, no. I won't agree to not call you back after we're done with our discussion here; because I have every intention to not just call you back, but to actually _bring_ you back. I want to be in love, I want to get married, I want to have kids and I want to be happy. I think I deserve to by happy, don't you?" But just like she'd been since she started her tirade, Phoebe gave Cole no chance to respond – she just kept on going. 

Phoebe had planned to have a rational discussion with Cole; a discussion where both would explain what had been going on with them during that horrible year, then they would agree to put it behind them and decide, together, how they would proceed from there so that they could be together again. She had had no intention of actually declaring an ultimatum and telling him that he was coming back because she wanted him to. No, that had not been her plan at all. But like with almost every other plan, things did not go according to plan; and there she was now telling how things were going to be – it was just that he could infuriate her faster and more completely than anyone she'd ever known, including her sisters. For a brief second she fleetingly acknowledged that old adage that no one can get to us as those we love the best and since she loved him above all things it was only logical that he would infuriate her more than anything else. All of these went through the back of her head as she continued with her tirade at Cole.

"Yes, God knows I do. And since it seems I can only be truly happy with you, then you have to be here – you _will_ be here." She assured him with narrowed eyes. "I've already talked it over with my sisters and they agreed. There might be some initial friction, but that should pass with time, and I don't think a lot will be needed. After all, you're still family. Enough time has passed since that year that we can all be a bit more rational about those events, and the good feelings from before that time have started to come back. So, don't give me any trouble Cole. You are coming back and we will be together. Granted, I still have to figure out a way to do it, haven't really worked that out yet. But you haven't moved on, you're still in limbo, and Paige said that Leo told her that should make the difference, and we can bring you back." She was staring to wind down; her voice was lower and more contemplative than argumentative. She took another big breath, stopped for a few seconds and still looking into his eyes, asked him, "Well, what do you think? Don't stand there like a statute, tell me what's on your mind?"

Cole just looked at her for a few seconds, and then he started to chucke - it was either that or start screaming at her. "God, I hope you never change, Phoebe. I love every contradictory, impulsive, demanding inch of you. And I would love nothing better than to be able to come back and be with you, honey, but I don't think its possible. And not only because of the problems I'd have with your sisters, but because I am in limbo for a reason, Phoebe. I'm paying for my sins; and after all this time I've finally understand that I have to pay for those sins, Phoebe. It's only right, and having you bring me back here before those debts are paid would be cheating. I've done enough cheating and stealing and all sort of evil deeds in my lifetime and I don't want to add to them. I want to clean my slate, baby, even if it takes an eternity, I want to have a clean consicous. I want to know what that feels like, can you understand that baby?"

All the fight seemed to drain out of Phoebe with those words and she looked at Cole with the tenderst expression he'd ever seen on her face. "Yes, baby. I can understand that, I also admire that you feel like that. But, baby don't you see, the mere fact that you can now feel like this is enought proof that you paid your sentence. No one, except very little kids, ever feel like they have no debts. We all at one time or another have done something we're ashmed of and feel guilty about - that's life, baby. We're only humans, we are not perfect. The best we can do is truly repent of those deeds, try to never make those mistakes again and try and make amends. You've already repented - that's the difference between you and most demons, they can't repent, they are not capable of it. You've also learned your lesson, you will do everything in your power to not commit those mistakes again and you have been making amends for those of the past for the past three years. Don't you see you're free? We can begin again with a clean slate, together. Besides, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to contact you if you hadn't already paid you dues and I know that, however powerful the Charmed Ones may be, we will not be able to bring you back if you haven't earned your way out. So, don't worry baby, you're free - We are free."


	10. He's back

Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be.

Chapter 10

Cole looked at Phoebe as her words kept going around in his mind _"you are free, we are free."_ Could it be? Could he really be finally free? Free to love Phoebe, without worrying about his past coming back to haunt him? It seemed hard to believe that three years in limbo would be enough punishment for all the evil he'd done in the over the century that he was a demon in the service of the source. How could only three years ever be enough to atone for everything he'd done? Then again, who was he to judge what was enough and what was not? Maybe Phoebe was right, and she'd only been able to contact him now because the time was right; maybe only when he was ready would all the elements come together to enable her to contact him. Yeah, he knew it sounded far-fetched - like the universe kept tabs on his fate; then again, stranger things have been known to happen.

Phoebe saw his emotions as they crossed his face; everything from disbelief, doubt, hope and relief. "Cole, believe me. I know I'm right; you've paid your debts. We can be together now."

"God, Phoebe, if you're right . . ." he trailed off, too overwhelmed to be able to finish.

Phoebe smiled and stepped closer to Cole. She made to touch his face but stopped millimeters from it when she remember that he was not corporeal. She left her hand right there and looking into his eyes said "I know I'm right, Cole. I can feel it, here" and she pressed her hand to her chest on top of her heart. "I can't really give you a logical explanation or any concrete reasons why I know this, I just know that I do – it comes from the same place where my premonitions come from." She tried to explain what she herself wasn't entirely sure she understood.

"Are you saying you had a premonition?" asked Cole, trying to understand what Phoebe was saying; he really wanted to believe it'd be alright but he didn't want to get his hopes up and then find out that she'd been wrong and that he was still stuck in limbo.

"No, not exactly" Phoebe exhaled a bit frustrated by not being sure how to explained it. "It's not a premonition per se; I didn't have any visions or anything. It's just a very strong feeling I got as you were explaining why you thought you should stay in limbo. It's like when you know something it's about to happen but you don't know why, just that you know it. It's like a gut feeling, only more powerful – I _know_ I'm right. You know that part of my premonitions are the feelings; I have to work out what the visions telling based on what the emotions I get from them – having developed empathy has sure helped with that. So, I'm used to just _knowing_ somethings; yes, I usually have the visions to back me up, but they are not necessary. Like I said I can't give you any rational, logical explanation for my feelings; but then I'm a witch and you're a demon in spirit form, we don't really need logical, rational arguments, do we?" She finished with a slight smirk.

Cole looked at her and with a slight smirk of his own and a slight shake of his head replied, "No, I guess we don't at that. So, we can finally be together, uh? Who would have thought it? I had certainly given up hope."

"Yes, so had I. But you know what they say, good things come to those who wait. And we've certainly waited for quite a while. Besides after everything we've done for the side of good, I think it is only fair to think that the universe owes one."

"Well, I'm not sure whether anyone would agree that the universe owed me anything – they'd be more apt to argue I owe the universe – but I definitely agree that it owes you, and more than one; and if part of compensating you is throwing us together who am I to argue?"

"I'm glad you see it that way." Phoebe responded with a grin as wide and as luminous as Coles. "Ok, now all we have to do is find a way to bring you completely back. Any ideas?"

"No, not a one. You don't have any ideas about how to begin? No direction in which to go?"

"No, not really. I was just really focused in trying to get a hold of you. I hadn't really stopped to consider bringing you back to tell you the truth. Well, maybe that's not completely truthful, I'm pretty sure I had that idea at the back of my head the whole time but I just wouldn't let myself think about it consciously. Plus, I just found out today that you were in limbo, before then I had no idea where you were – so even if I had started to think about it wouldn't have helped much."

"You never know; but that's irrelevant since you never thought about it. Well, all I can tell you is that you probably will have to make up your own spell. I doubt that you will be able to find any ready made spell like the one you used to call me here. It'd probably have to be personalized so that you don't bring anyone else but me from the other side. There are a lot of people in limbo that would like to come back, let me tell you."

"Yeah," Phoebe responded, but it was obvious by the distracted voice and vague look she had in her eyes that she was thinking about something else.

"What is it something I said?"

Phoebe started and said, "What? I'm sorry, just thinking. I think I may have an idea where to begin but it will take a bit of time and I'm going to need the help of my sisters. Thankfully, they've already promise they will help me. I think it might be best if you leave now, I have a lot of work to do and you will just distract me."

"Ok, I'm going to take that as a compliment, if you don't mind?"

"That's how it was meant." She told him with a wink. "But seriously, I have to go confer with my sisters and I think it'd be better for my concentration and theirs if you weren't around. I promise I'll call you as soon as we figure it out. It could be a couple of days, though. If it looks like it'd be longer, I'll call you and let you know."

"No need for you to call me; I'll know if things will take longer."

"Ok, how could you know that? Cole have you been spying on us?" Phoebe asked in a very suspicious tone.

"No, of course not." At she continued to stare at him with narrowed eyes, he gave in as said, "I wouldn't really say that it was spying per se, really."

"No? And what would you say it was then?"

"Well, more like keeping an eye on how things were going on with you. Yeah, that's it" he continued in a winning voice, "I was just keeping an eye on things." He finished with a wide grin.

Phoebe just looked at him for a long moment and then said, "Ok, we'd better leave it there if we don't want this meeting to turn into a big fight and we'd also better not tell my sisters. I can guarantee you, they are not going to like knowing that you have been 'keeping an eye on things'"

"Well, to be precise I was keeping an eye on you and not so much on them."

"Ok, what part of 'let's leave things there so we don't get in a fight' don't you understand? Because if you think telling me you've kept an eye on me when you were supposed to be dead is going . . ."

"Ok, ok," he interrupted her before she could get really started in another rant. "I get it. Not the brightest idea I ever had, and we'd definitely not talk about it again."

Phoebe stared at him with narrowed eyes for a while longer, deciding whether or not it was worth making a big deal about it. At the end, she decided not to – she really was glad to see him again and that they've seen to solve their problems; besides which, if she was honest with herself, she'd have to admit that if she had been in his shoes she probably would have done the same and would have kept an eye on him. That's not to say that she had to admit that to him, oh no. She'd let him sweat it for a few minutes before she let hi off the hook.

About half a minute of having Phoebe stare at him without saying anything was enough to have Cole start talking to try and get out of the mess he'd apparently landed himself in. "Phoebe, baby, I swear I just came once in a while to see how you were doing. I didn't interfere with your live and I sure as hell had nothing to do with your sisters'. I swear, baby . . ."

"It's ok, Cole. Let's leave it there shall we?" Phoebe interrupted him before he said something that she would have have to take issue with just on principle; and Cole seemed only too happy in letting the subject drop right there.

"Ok, I guess I better be going now, right?" He asked with a hesitant smile, wanting to know that everything was right between them and not wanting to push his luck any further.

"Yeah, that'd probably be best. Don't worry, honey, we're ok, just don't do it again, ok?"

"I won't. I love you Phoebe. If anything goes wrong, please always remember that."

"I know, Cole. And nothing will go wrong, I know it. I'll call you when its time. I love you too."

"Bye, love."

"Bye, Cole"

Phoebe and Cole locked eyes and smiled at each other as he disappeared and went back to the spirit realm. After a few seconds of staring at where Cole had been, Phoebe turned and walked out the attic to go look for her sisters. She found them in the solarium.

"Hey, Phoebe that was fast." Paige greeted Phoebe.

"Was everything alright honey?" Piper asked her, somewhat concerned at the speed in which the meeting between her sister and Cole had finished.

"Yes, everything was fine. It was just that . . ."

"Yeah, did he do anything?" Paige seemed at bit too eager for Phoebe's taste.

"No, he did nothing wrong. Actually, it was me. You know, whenever I pictured that meeting I tried to image all the different possibilities, how I'd react, how he'd react, what we'd say. I imagined a dozen different ways but I never imagined what actually happened."

"Phoebe, what did you do?" asked Piper.

"I just sort of lost my temper, that's all."

"Sort of? How can you 'sort of' loose your temper?" asked Paige.

"Well, I completely lost it, if you want to get technical. It was just that after everything I'd gone through to have him . . ." Phoebe trailed off still a bit angered.

"What! Come on, Phoebe tell uswhat happened!" asked a very curious Paige.

"Oh, nothing much. Just that after he agreed we had to talk he asked that I promise him that I would let him go and would not try to contact him again, that's all." answered Phoebe in a sarcastic tone of voice.

"Oh, that's all, nothing much at all. So, how did you react? Because I'm guessing you did not like his plan?" asked Piper, also ina somewhat sarcastic tone of voice.

"Oh, I just let him know in no uncertain terms that that was not going to happen. That I hadn't gone through all the drama I'd just gone through just to let him go again. I mean the spell we just cast pretty much proves that we are soul mates, right? That means that he is it for me and that only him can really make me happy, and since I really want to be happy and fulfilled he just have to be here, no buts, ands or ifs about it."

"In other words, you told him that he was going to be coming back because you wanted him back and he pretty much had no say in the matter, right?" Piper translated what had really gone on, very amused at the idea of her sister telling such a powerful demon how his life was going to be from now.

"Yep, that was pretty much it." Agreed Phoebe, who seemed to calmed down as she too realized that she had just gotten away with telling Cole how he was going to live his life.

"And what did he say?" asked a curious Paige, who could totally understand why her sister had lost her temper and could definitely appreciate the way she had laid down the law to Cole. Paige was a firm believer in going after what one wanted and not letting anything stand in the way – not even the guy one wanted.

"Well, that's the thing. He laughed and told me that he loved me just like I am and that I should never changed. But then, he said that as much as he would like to be 'stuck' with me here, he didn't think it was possible."

"Why?" asked a very surprised Piper.

"You mean he gave up a chance to come back to live? Really!" If possible, Paige was even more surprised than Piper.

"Yes, well he tried to anyway."

"But, why!" insisted Paige.

"It seemed that he had finally realized the extent of all the damage that he'd done as Belthazor and he wanted to make amends. He figured his time in limbo was his punishment and he did not want to get out of it before he'd paid for everything evil he'd done in his life."

"Wow, that's . . . , well, that' really . . ." Paige was at a loss for words at Cole's attitude.

Phoebe however was not, "admirable, honorable, respectable? Any of those work for you, Paige?"

"Yeah, any or all of those would work just fine. I just never thought that I would use those words when talking about Cole, that's all."

"Really, because I seem to recall various instance in the past when those words worked just fine. In fact . . ."

But before Phoebe could really go off in her defense of Cole, Piper intervened. "Paige, Phoebe is right. There had been numerous times in the past when Cole has acted in that matter. So we really shouldn't be surprise; and I guess if I think about for a minute I'm not, really. But, Phoebe, Paige does sort of have a point too. However good he may have acted in separate occasions when dealing with us, those adjectives are just not some that would automatically be used when describing him – and you know that."

Phoebe took a big breath to calm herself down and agreed, "Ok, you're right. But that doesn't diminish what he's done, or rather what he intended to do."

Leo, who up until now had been quietly watching the sisters, spoke up. "No, it doesn't. But what do you mean 'intended to do'? Are you still going to go ahead and bring him back?"

"Yes, I am." As soon as she said the words she could see what her family thought about it. "Wait, wait; I know what you're thinking. If he still had to paid for his misdeeds, then there was nothing I could do – he would have to stay in limbo. But, you see, I'm pretty sure that he has already paid everything he had to pay."

"How can you possibly know that, Phoebe?" Piper asked what all of them were thinking.

"I'm not really sure _how_ I know that, I just know that I know it."

"Did you have a premonition?" Paige asked.

"No, not really. I just had this real strong feeling while he was telling me that he had to finish paying his debts. It was like the weight of the world was being lifted from my shoulders; like I could finally breathe free. I'm not sure how to explain it because I'm not sure I understand it myself. You know how a lot of what we do is intuitive? Yes, there was a lot we had to learn but at the same time a lot of it is just doing what feels right in here" she put her hand over her heart, "and in here," this time she tapped her hand over her stomach. "Piper, when you're in the kitchen you just let your hands wander, right? Like grams told you?"

"Yes, you're right. I mean there are some rules guidelines I _have_ to follow but for the most part I just follow my instincts. And before you ask, yes, it's the same when I'm making potions."

"I thought so. And Paige, when you're helping your charges . . .?"

"Yes, it's the same. There are some rules and guidelines but when it comes down to it, I do what feels right at the time. And it usually works too."

"And that's how I use my premonitions too. And its from that same place where we just know that something its going to work, that I got this feeling that Cole has paid his debts. Plus, I don't think I would have been able to even contact him otherwise."

"What do you mean?" Though Leo believed in Phoebe's feelings and didn't need any more convincing, he was nevertheless curious about what she meant.

"I mean that the timing of things seemed just too perfect, don't you think? First Piper chooses today to press me for what's been bothering. I've been depressed for about a year but she chose today. And after a year of denying there was anything wrong, I chose today to tell her about it. And then just as we finished, Paige entered and overheard us talking. And truthfully, if she hadn't I don't think we would have told her, at least not right then. Sorry, sweetie, but you know how you got when it came to Cole." Phoebe apologized to Paige with a smile.

"No sweat, I understand." The fact of the matter was Paige did get very narrowed minded when it came to Cole, and she could understand Phoebe not wanting to talk to her about it until she absolutely had to. Well, Paige understood this _now_, after she'd made her peace with Cole coming back, but she would have hit the roof had she heard this a few hours ago.

"And Paige overhearing us" Phoebe continued with her descriptions of how events had been just too perfect, "led her to have a talk with Leo, which in turn led us to the spell we used to call Cole. And Leo was probably the only that could have found that spell; because I had also looked in the Magic School library and had not found it."

"Well, it was in a pretty hidden spot. In fact I only came across it by accident a couple of weeks ago."

"See, that just proves my point. Even if everything else had happened before, it wouldn't have matter because Leo just found the spell. . ." Phoebe would have gone on with her explanation but Piper stopped her.

"Phoebe, it's alright. We believe you; you don't need to keep explaining. We more than anyone understand what you're saying. We're witches; we're in the business of believing the unbelievable."

"Ok, good. Then we can get on with bringing Cole back?"

"Yes. But I have a question. _How_ do we bring him back? Do you have any ideas?" asked Paige.

"No, nothing too concrete anyway. But I was thinking that we'll need a potion along with a spell. I just don't think a spell alone will be powerful enough to give Cole his body back." As she said this, she turned to look at Piper.

"Before you ask, yes, I'll go and get started on a potion. Since we're not sure just what it is we need, I'll just let my hands wandered for a bit, shall I?" Piper asked with a mischievous smile.

"Great, there's no one whose wandering hands I trust more." Phoebe replied with an identical smile.

"I'm assuming you want him to have the same body. Or are there any changes you'd like to make?"

"No, his old body would work fine, just fine." This time Phoebe's smile was more wicked than mischievous.

"I thought so," Piper said with a laugh as she turned to the kitchen, "I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me."

Leo was about to follow Piper when he heard boys waking up from their naps, he started for their room as he said, "and I'll be with the boys, keeping them out of your way, shall I?"

"Thanks Leo, giving them both a kiss from me." Phoebe called out to him as he went up the stairs. Leo just waved his hand to let her know he'd heard her. With that Phoebe turned to her youngest sister and said, "Well, you and I are going to go read through all the spell books we have and see if we can come up with something that will bring him back, ok?"

"Fine with me; just lead the way." Phoebe put her arm through Paige, and together they went up to the attic.

It took them close to a week, during which Phoebe worked tirelessly and her temper got progressively shorter, but they finally came up with a potion and spell they were sure would work out.

"Are we ready?" Phoebe asked looking around the attic. White candles had been scattered throughout it, five of which had been placed at the end of each of the point of the pentagram that had been painted in the middle of the attic floor. In the middle of the pentagram a cauldron had been set with a burner underneath it to heat it up. All the ingredients for the potion Piper had come up with were already in it, and the burner had just been lit by Paige. She went back to where her sisters were standing around the pentagram and told Phoebe, "We're as ready as we'll ever be."

Piper agreed with her, "Yep, we're ready Phoebe."

The sisters then arranged themselves still around the pentagram but behind the bookstand, where the spell that Phoebe and Paige had come up was lying on top of the Book of Shadows. It had taken Phoebe and Paige quite a while to come up with the spell. While it had only taken Piper about three days to perfect the potion, it had taken Phoebe and Paige about a couple of days to just decide what approach they should use. They finally decided that instead of writing a whole new one, they would go through all their old spells and cut and paste a new onefrom them – they may not end up with an original spell but they'd end up with one that should work, besides they do things like that all the time and since they're using their own spells its not like they're plagiarizing. But even with using their old spells, it had taken them about three days to come up with one they both felt satisfied and confident with.

After linking hands with both her sisters, Phoebe took a big breath and said "on the count of three . . . one, two, three." And as one the three sisters starting chanting the spell:

_Hear now the words of the witches, the secrets we hid in the night, __the oldest of Gods are invoked here, the greatest magic is sought. __In this time and in this hour, we call upon the ancient power __to help, guide and empowered us to __reach out through space and light_,  
_and Be he far or be he near, Bring us he who used to be the demon Belthazor here._

_Powers of the witches rise, Course unseen across the skies, __Come to us who call you near. Come to us and settle here __We call forth from space and time, matriarchs from the Halliwell line,  
mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, our family spirit without end,  
to gather now in this sacred place and help us bring this witch's love to grace. _

_Hear our words, here our cries,_ _heed the hope within our hearts. __As flame lights shadow, and truth ends fear, Love over death perseveres. __Remove the chains of time and space; we call our powers our purpose now embrace. __Three together stand alone here, Bound in live and power by our love for each other __On that love we now ask to bring back this witch's one true love. _

_A time for everything And everything in its place  
Return what has been moved Through plane and space. _

Phoebe's part_: Whither my love, Wherever you be,  
Through Plane and Space Bring my love back to me _

_Because there is no greater force than love, no greater blessing than being loved __and no greater power than loving, return Phoebe Halliwell's one true love. __As we will, so mote it be. _

As the sisters chanted the spell, the potion on the cauldron started spinning, the smoke started to come up and a wind that seemed to come from nowhere whipped it up and around the center of the pentagram. The sound the wind made seemed to get louder as the chant continued and the sisters had to hold to each other tighter and bring their hands up to keep the spell on its place as the wind became a furious mini-tornado in the middle of the attic. As suddenly as it all had began it ended when the last words of the spell were said. The only thing that moved in the attic in the aftermath was the brilliant white light that had taken the place of the mini-tornado in the center of the attic. As the sisters and Leo watched, the light started to take the form of a man and after a minute or so it faded leaving Cole behind, standing next to the cauldron.

For a while there was absolute silence in the room as all the occupants looked at each other and tried to come to grips with what had just been accomplished. While seeing Cole did not bring the same amount of consternation it had brought the first time, the fact that the sisters had managed to bring back some that had been in limbo did amazed all of them.

The first one to break the amazed silence was Phoebe. She disentangled herself from her sisters and run to Cole and did what she had been longing to do for about three years. She threw herself at him and kissed him as if she hadn't him seen him in ages – which come to think of it, she hadn't.

Cole caught her and whirled her around as he returned her kisses. Her sisters and Leo, who had been watching quietly off to one side, watched indulgently. They all knew all the hell both had gone through to be together and none of them could really begrudged them their moment. After a while Cole put Phoebe down and keeping her close to his side, turned to look at the sisters and Leo, who had by this time made his way to Piper and had his arms around her. With another kiss to Phoebe, who had both arms around his middle and her head tucked under his chin, Cole looked at Piper, Paige and Leo and with the utmost sincere voice simply said, "Thank you."

There was much he was thanking them for, and he could have gone on to list all the reasons but there was no need. They understood what he was saying. As always it was Piper who spoke up for the family; after looking at Paige and Leo she simply, "Welcome back, but if you hurt her again limbo won't be where you'll be going."

With a rueful smile and a shake of her head he said, "I never meant to hurt her or any of you, you know." At the incredulous looks this produced on Piper and Leo, he added, "well, not after I killed the triad. And you got to admit that I was never 100 committed to doing it before that either. But all that is in the past and I know I've promised this before but I'll do everything in my power not to hurt any of you."

"It's not that we don't believe you; but what about any ghosts from your past? Maybe you just won't be able to stop them, like before." Paige spoke up for the first time since seeing Cole.

"No, that won't happen. I've had time to think on this, and I think Phoebe was right. The only way you guys were able to bring me back was because I paid off my debts, that means that any ghosts from my pasts had been dealt with and won't be coming back to haunt me."

Paige looked into Cole's eyes for a while to see if he was sincere or not. What she saw in them reassured her; he seemed the same Cole he had been when she first met him – before the source had taken him over. And after looking at the joy in Phoebe's face, Paige let the past go and was able to sincerely tell Cole, "in that case, welcome back to the family."

Phoebe looked back to her sister from the shelter of Cole's arms and could only mouth 'thank you' to Paige as she realized that her sister had truly left the past in the past and was giving them her blessing. Piper's welcome had been nice and appreciated by Phoebe, but there had never been any doubt in Phoebe's mind that Piper would be ok with Cole; it was Paige's reaction at having Cole physically back that had worried Phoebe, but with those words most of Phoebe's anxiety had gone. With a final look and smile of thank to Piper, Phoebe turned to look at Cole.

Cole had been left speechless by Paige's welcome, something which amused Paige to no end. He looked down at Phoebe when he felt her looking at him and after giving her one more kiss, he turned to look at Paige again and again simply said, "Thank you," he then turned to look at Piper and added, "to both of you."

Leo then took his arms from around Piper, and stepping to one side offered his hand to Cole saying, "I guess I'm the only one left to welcome you; it's good to see you're yourself again." And with that Leo also showed his willingness to let the past lie and moved on from here.

Cole shook Leo's hand and said, "It's good to be myself again, and it's good to see you."

Phoebe could not believe it. She had the love of her life back and he seemed to have made peace with her family; it had been a lot easier that she had thought it would be. The week that they had needed to figure out how to bring him back had given everyone the space they needed to come to terms with the idea of having Cole back in their lives. Oh, Phoebe knew it wasn't all going to be this easy. Everyone in the family had very strong personalities and as such she knew that there'll be more than one disagreement and fight between them, but that happens in every family and they'll deal with that as a family. Plus, they also have to figure out how to re-introduce Cole back into society after supposedly having been dead for three years. But again they'll deal with that as a family.

Because despite everything they've gone through, and maybe _because_ of everything they've gone through that is what they were: family.

The End.

**AN: **There it is -my first fic. I hope you guys liked it. I want to once more thank all of you who have left a review; you don't know how much I appreciate it. I also want to once again apologize for how long it's taken me to finish – no excuses to offer just an apology J I have a sequel in mind, but there are no promises as to when I'll have it out. Though I do think it will soon, as I have the first few chapters more or less written in my head. One last thing before I finish, I'm really glad that you guys liked the last chapter. At first I was going to go with a very emotional, almost tear jerker like chapter. But when I was writing it, Phoebe wouldn't cooperate. You know, I'll always read authors say that characters do this or wont let them do that, and I'm not sure I believed them – but its true. I think Phoebe was just tire of crying and decided that she was a strong, independent woman and was going to take control of her life and since I agree with that attitude I let her have it – I'm just glad you guys approved. Ok, that's it for author's note, my brother says I write them too long and no one cares but I have to say anyway, so I'll end this here with a final thank you for all of you who have follow this story – a second one will be coming soon.


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